OP-Ed: I’m Pissed So Many People are Put in Jail Because It’s Ruining My Dating Prospects
By: Hermynn Bae Wells
As I sit on Tinder for the fifteenth time today, contemplating the possibility of sleep, my fingers tremble with each swipe. The “New Match!” orange graphic pops in front of my eyes, bringing me the familiar rush of dopamine and affirmation.
Unfortunately, this feeling has been fading due to constraints on the market of eligible men. With each new day, I’m forced to widen my radius and age range.
As of recent, Ellettsville, Bloomington, and Bedford don’t seem have enough men for my needy swiping habit. As I was about to expand my range to the greater Indianapolis metropolitan area, I came across this statistic: “According to the US Bureau of Justice Statistics, 2,220,300 adults were incarcerated in US federal and state prisons, and county jails in 2013 – about 0.91% of adults (1 in 110) in the U.S. resident population.”
This was the explanation I had been looking for.
According to Bureau of Justice, approximately one in ten men are currently kept behind bars. One in ten men are being held back from attending barbeques with me and my ever-judgmental family. One in ten men are unable to worship the ground I walk on. One in ten men are unavailable to bring me wine in the bathtub while I cry about the things I cannot change.
For my entire life, I had been unaware of the USA’s massive epidemic of over-incarceration, but today, for the sake of my passion for universal human rights and my dating life, I am taking a stand against this injustice, and I urge all of you to do the same.
Attached is the contact information for Representative Todd Young. I urge all who agree with me to contact him, and advocate for lighter sentences, and lesser minimum sentencing for drug-related offenses. Our leaders need to understand the importance of this issue: I haven’t gotten laid since September of 2014.
Office of Representative Todd Young
320 W. 8th Street, Suite 114
Bloomington, IN 47404
Phone: (812) 336-3000
Fax: (812) 336-3355