{"id":1145,"date":"2018-08-22T15:55:55","date_gmt":"2018-08-22T15:55:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/?p=1145"},"modified":"2018-08-22T15:55:55","modified_gmt":"2018-08-22T15:55:55","slug":"congressional-report-just-in-case-you-were-wondering-everything-is-still-fucked","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2018\/08\/22\/congressional-report-just-in-case-you-were-wondering-everything-is-still-fucked\/","title":{"rendered":"CONGRESSIONAL REPORT: Just In Case You Were Wondering, Everything is Still Fucked"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: center;\">By: Sutton Lee Seymour<a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/39872004_1050060281820607_7070393171473072128_n.jpg?ssl=1\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"1146\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2018\/08\/22\/congressional-report-just-in-case-you-were-wondering-everything-is-still-fucked\/39872004_1050060281820607_7070393171473072128_n\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/39872004_1050060281820607_7070393171473072128_n.jpg?fit=500%2C355&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"500,355\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"39872004_1050060281820607_7070393171473072128_n\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/39872004_1050060281820607_7070393171473072128_n.jpg?fit=500%2C355&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-1146 alignright\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/39872004_1050060281820607_7070393171473072128_n.jpg?resize=300%2C213&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"213\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/39872004_1050060281820607_7070393171473072128_n.jpg?resize=300%2C213&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/39872004_1050060281820607_7070393171473072128_n.jpg?w=500&amp;ssl=1 500w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>In a speech following the release of this month&#8217;s congressional report, that one senator you&#8217;re kinda familiar with stated, &#8220;We would like to let the American people know that everything is still fucked.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;However,&#8221; he said, &#8220;serious changes will be implemented very soon. The recently-proposed changes to the tax bill will go into effect as soon as we come to a majority vote.&#8221; The delay will only affect the target groups that this bill is designed to fuck over, so there is nothing to be concerned about.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;We also discussed the most recent mass shooting,&#8221; the senator went on. &#8220;We&#8217;ve decided that, much like past mass shootings, this is an isolated incident that is very unlikely to happen again, but we send our thoughts and prayers to the victims&#8217; families.&#8221; Said the senator as he performed the sign of the cross for the cameras. He elaborated, &#8220;We have determined that the race and socioeconomic status of the victims has no bearing on the shooting and that the shooter was merely a troubled individual with a tragic past.&#8221; No word yet on how this will affect gun control, nor is there expected to be.<\/p>\n<p>Finally, the senator recapped the recent healthcare discussion: &#8220;Healthcare is always a turbulent issue,&#8221; he said. &#8220;We are doing everything we can to improve the current system. Such a complex, multifaceted system needs special attention and care, which is why we&#8217;re setting aside the next 35 years and creating 23 new, slightly-differing committees devoted to understanding health, economy, illness, and why poor people need medicine.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The senator closed out his statement by shaking hands with a diverse audience and kissing a baby on the head.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By: Sutton Lee Seymour In a speech following the release of this month&#8217;s congressional report, that one senator you&#8217;re kinda familiar with stated, &#8220;We would like to let the American [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1146,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1145","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-politics","has_thumb"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/39872004_1050060281820607_7070393171473072128_n.jpg?fit=500%2C355&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7b5Hd-it","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1028,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2018\/03\/07\/breaking-senate-passes-bill-to-arm-teachers-to-fight-against-radical-student-factions\/","url_meta":{"origin":1145,"position":0},"title":"BREAKING: Senate Passes Bill to Arm Teachers to Fight Against Radical Student Factions","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"March 7, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Mack E. Velli Washington DC - In the midst of mass destabilization of school zones around the nation, Senator Dan Puppet (R - Virginia) has introduced a bill with the backing of the Republican Party to arm and support the US-friendly \"Coalition of Locked and Loaded Teachers.\" \"The situation\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Politics&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Politics","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/politics\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/teacher_with_gun.jpg?fit=1080%2C587&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/teacher_with_gun.jpg?fit=1080%2C587&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/teacher_with_gun.jpg?fit=1080%2C587&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/teacher_with_gun.jpg?fit=1080%2C587&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/teacher_with_gun.jpg?fit=1080%2C587&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":564,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2017\/01\/20\/collins-holds-honorary-inauguration-for-bernie-sanders-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":1145,"position":1},"title":"Collins Holds Honorary Inauguration for Bernie Sanders","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"January 20, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Joe King BLOOMINGTON - Flipside has just received word that, in accordance with Donald Trump\u2019s inauguration as president of the United States, the Collins Living-Learning Center will also be holding an honorary inauguration for democratic socialist and former presidential candidate, Senator Bernie Sanders. The Senator was invited to the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Politics&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Politics","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/politics\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/sanders.jpg?fit=555%2C370&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/sanders.jpg?fit=555%2C370&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/sanders.jpg?fit=555%2C370&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":584,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2017\/02\/01\/kentucky-land-values-skyrocket-in-anticipation-of-becoming-ocean-front-by-2020\/","url_meta":{"origin":1145,"position":2},"title":"Kentucky Land Values Skyrocket in Anticipation of Becoming Ocean-front by 2020","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"February 1, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Hermynn Bae Wells In anticipation of global climate change ravaging our dear Mother Earth, realtors and future homeowners have jumped at the astounding opportunity for real estate. While other parts of the U.S. are expected to be experiencing flood and drought-like conditions, Kentucky natives are bracing to be the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Business&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Business","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/business\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/hillbilly.png?fit=522%2C358&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":195,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2015\/10\/08\/canadian-school-terrorized-by-mass-water-gun-shooting\/","url_meta":{"origin":1145,"position":3},"title":"Canadian School Terrorized by Mass Water-Gun Shooting","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"October 8, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"By:\u00a0Mack E. Velli Twenty six were soaked and two were damp last Tuesday after fifteen-year old Adam Forrest walked into Leslie Nielsen Elementary School with a fully-loaded, semi-automatic WR 31 Super Soaker and three homemade water balloons. Witnesses state that the gunman walked through the unlocked school entrance with no\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Science &amp; Technology&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Science &amp; Technology","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/science-technology\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/1015-massachusettes-illegal-to-have-a-water-gun-fight.jpg?fit=800%2C407&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/1015-massachusettes-illegal-to-have-a-water-gun-fight.jpg?fit=800%2C407&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/1015-massachusettes-illegal-to-have-a-water-gun-fight.jpg?fit=800%2C407&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/1015-massachusettes-illegal-to-have-a-water-gun-fight.jpg?fit=800%2C407&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":811,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2017\/09\/22\/conservatives-bail-out-toys-r-us-in-fight-against-war-on-christmas\/","url_meta":{"origin":1145,"position":4},"title":"Conservatives Bail Out Toys R Us in Fight Against War on Christmas","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"September 22, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Justin TruBRO WASHINGTON D.C. \u2013 Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Kentucky) called an emergency session late Wednesday night to allocate $5 billion in order to save Toys R Us, aiding Republican efforts to combat the War on Christmas. \u201cWe can\u2019t just sit around and watch the #1 toy store\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Politics&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Politics","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/politics\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/21931130_1585966001446410_130140763_o.jpg?fit=1200%2C630&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/21931130_1585966001446410_130140763_o.jpg?fit=1200%2C630&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/21931130_1585966001446410_130140763_o.jpg?fit=1200%2C630&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/21931130_1585966001446410_130140763_o.jpg?fit=1200%2C630&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/21931130_1585966001446410_130140763_o.jpg?fit=1200%2C630&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1021,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2018\/03\/06\/breaking-student-running-cockfighting-ring-out-of-dorm-room-cites-loophole-in-roommate-agreement\/","url_meta":{"origin":1145,"position":5},"title":"BREAKING: Student Running Cockfighting Ring Out of Dorm Room Cites Loophole in Roommate Agreement","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"March 6, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Cleetus Haversham BLOOMINGTON-- Following the trail of blood and feathers leading from Gresham Dining Hall to the Foster Hall B Tower, Bloomington PD recently apprehended freshman Justin Stevens, for operating a cockfighting ring in his dorm room. 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