{"id":1151,"date":"2018-08-27T15:29:10","date_gmt":"2018-08-27T15:29:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/?p=1151"},"modified":"2018-08-27T15:30:51","modified_gmt":"2018-08-27T15:30:51","slug":"breaking-area-student-unable-to-sleep-without-sound-of-roommate-loudly-masturbating","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2018\/08\/27\/breaking-area-student-unable-to-sleep-without-sound-of-roommate-loudly-masturbating\/","title":{"rendered":"BREAKING: Area Student Unable to Sleep Without Sound of Roommate Loudly Masturbating"},"content":{"rendered":"

By:\u00a0Cleetus Haversham\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

BLOOMINGTON, IN \u2013 After moving from his dorm in Teter to an off-campus apartment, sophomore Lucas Redding finds himself struggl<\/span>ing to sleep without his roommate\u2019s loud nightly masturbation.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s just hard to feel fully relaxed without my roommate loudly jacking off on the other side of the room,\u201d says Redding, about his former roommate of Gregory Wallace. \u201cWithout the sound of him waxing his weiner, I can\u2019t get to sleep with the same regularity I had last year I\u2019ve had to resort to a white noise machine and sleeping pills ever since.\u201d<\/p>\n

Students returning to Wallace’s floor found themselves having similar thoughts.\u201cIt\u2019s kind of a tradition,\u201d says Junior Jose Juarez, \u201cHe does this loud grunt at around 9. At 10, it\u2019s more of a sustained moan that ends with a \u2018squelch\u2019 by midnight. The regularity is very soothing. I never know what a given day might bring, but I know every night Greg will be loudly brushing his bronco with his roommate in the same room.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI always found it so generous of him to share his pleasure with the dorm floor,\u201d says RA Josie Stewart. \u201cIn fact, I actually envy his roommate’s ability to be so close to this rousing performance. It’s a shame he’s gone, and I hope Lucas finds a new way of getting to sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n

According to Redding, his roommate man-handling his man-bits helped him distract him from his love life. \u201cUsually, I would get into bed and toss and turn, thinking about how I might never be loved. But living with Greg for a year taught me that I can love myself.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By:\u00a0Cleetus Haversham BLOOMINGTON, IN \u2013 After moving from his dorm in Teter to an off-campus apartment, sophomore Lucas Redding finds himself struggling to sleep without his roommate\u2019s loud nightly masturbation. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1152,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1151","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-local","has_thumb"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/Mobile_Symptoms101_header2_OccasionalSleeplessness_Image1.jpg?fit=640%2C300&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7b5Hd-iz","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1151","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1151"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1151\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1154,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1151\/revisions\/1154"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1152"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1151"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1151"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1151"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}