{"id":1159,"date":"2018-09-05T16:09:30","date_gmt":"2018-09-05T16:09:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/?p=1159"},"modified":"2018-09-05T21:27:10","modified_gmt":"2018-09-05T21:27:10","slug":"breaking-local-freshmen-still-raises-hand-to-use-restroom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2018\/09\/05\/breaking-local-freshmen-still-raises-hand-to-use-restroom\/","title":{"rendered":"BREAKING: Local Freshman Still Raises Hand to Use Restroom"},"content":{"rendered":"

By: Ragnarok\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Bloomington, IN \u2013 Three weeks into college, freshman Evan Scharter continues to dutifully ask to go to the bathroom. Every time Evan needs to do the deed, his impeccable moral code compels him to request permission from the professor.<\/p>\n

Troy Gideon, one of the affected students expressed his dismay: \u201cThe entire class despises how Sharter squeals ‘May I go potty?’ every lesson.” It crossed the line when Scharter spent half a class arguing that hall passes should be given out to uphold the sanctity of the classroom, just like high school.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis kid is out of his mind,\u201d stated Lexi Bell. \u201cMost people despise Finite, and don\u2019t want to wait to piss. I know I can\u2019t focus when I need to go.\u201d Though Lexi did admire how Scharter often wasted precious lecture time spearheading a petition to regulate toilet use.<\/p>\n

Fed up, Finite students finally gave in, joining Scharter\u2019s petition to mandate restroom hall passes and monitors. They then collaborated to form the B.O.W.E.L. movement: \u201cBathroom Occupation When Evan Leaves.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gideon, founder of the B.O.W.E.L. movement, explained, \u201cThis association of students is devoted to a simple mission, whenever one of us notices that Evan needs to go to the bathroom, a member will raise their hand, and ask to use the bathroom pass. With only one pass and one of our own as hall monitor, we ensure that Scharter can\u2019t tinkle.\u201d<\/p>\n

Following the formation of the movement, Scharter’s Finite grade has plummeted, on account of his inability to focus during class.<\/p>\n

At press-time, Scharter was found in the bathroom, receiving an unauthorized swirlie between classes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By: Ragnarok Bloomington, IN \u2013 Three weeks into college, freshman Evan Scharter continues to dutifully ask to go to the bathroom. Every time Evan needs to do the deed, his […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1160,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[299],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1159","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-education","has_thumb"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/10.jpg?fit=852%2C480&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7b5Hd-iH","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":737,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2017\/04\/05\/local-student-struggles-to-meet-freshman-health-requirement\/","url_meta":{"origin":1159,"position":0},"title":"Local Student Struggles to Meet Freshman Health Requirement","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"April 5, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Barry Vile BLOOMINGTON, IN -- Following a relaxing spring break and a moderately active semester, freshman with a high metabolism Sterling Wilson has just one focus on his mind to close out the semester: gain fifteen pounds of pure, greasy fat. \"Evidently I have to put on the freshman\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Entertainment"","block_context":{"text":"Entertainment","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/entertainment\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/DennysBro.png?fit=1056%2C660&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/DennysBro.png?fit=1056%2C660&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/DennysBro.png?fit=1056%2C660&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/DennysBro.png?fit=1056%2C660&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/DennysBro.png?fit=1056%2C660&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1156,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2018\/08\/31\/breaking-area-freshman-attempts-to-slide-into-classmates-canvas-dms\/","url_meta":{"origin":1159,"position":1},"title":"BREAKING: Area Freshman Attempts to Slide Into Classmate\u2019s Canvas DMs","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"August 31, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"By Sutton Lee Seymour BLOOMINGTON, IN \u2013 Earlier this week, IU\u2019s Office of Sexual Harassment received a complaint about freshman Cam Ragg trying to slide into his female classmate\u2019s Canvas DMs. \u201cThis guy\u2019s endgame was pretty clear,\u201d said DM recipient Sarah Letterman. \u201cAt first he was just messaging me asking\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Education"","block_context":{"text":"Education","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/education\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/Screenshot-13.png?fit=1200%2C725&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/Screenshot-13.png?fit=1200%2C725&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/Screenshot-13.png?fit=1200%2C725&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/Screenshot-13.png?fit=1200%2C725&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/Screenshot-13.png?fit=1200%2C725&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":780,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2017\/08\/23\/overachiever-turns-in-final-paper-on-second-day-of-class\/","url_meta":{"origin":1159,"position":2},"title":"Overachiever Turns in Final Paper on Second Day of Class","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"August 23, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Joe King and\u00a0Barry Vile BLOOMINGTON, IN - Indiana University freshman and former high school try-hard T. 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The student remarked that he would have turned in the paper on the first day,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Education"","block_context":{"text":"Education","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/education\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/August22_18.jpg?fit=509%2C339&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":432,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2016\/10\/25\/area-student-loses-virginity-to-20-page-essay-on-antidisestablishmentarianism\/","url_meta":{"origin":1159,"position":3},"title":"Area Student Loses Virginity to 20-Page Essay on Antidisestablishmentarianism","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"October 25, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Voidius Black Following a period of intense procrastination this past week, Indiana University freshman Mason Briggs lost his virginity to a 20-page paper on Antidisestablishmentarianism. \u201cI can\u2019t believe how hard that paper screwed me,\u201d Briggs told reporters. \u201cI knew it was going to be due Wednesday, and that procrastinating\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Local"","block_context":{"text":"Local","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/local\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/14877300_1241829665860047_863109860_n.jpg?fit=720%2C960&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/14877300_1241829665860047_863109860_n.jpg?fit=720%2C960&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/14877300_1241829665860047_863109860_n.jpg?fit=720%2C960&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/14877300_1241829665860047_863109860_n.jpg?fit=720%2C960&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1260,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2018\/10\/22\/selfless-freshman-couple-on-e-bus-makes-out-without-tongue\/","url_meta":{"origin":1159,"position":4},"title":"Selfless: Freshman Couple on E-Bus Makes Out Without Tongue","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"October 22, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Maura Less BLOOMINGTON, IN- A freshman couple on the morning E-Bus made waves across campus as they performed their morning snog, without their usual, grotesque display of slobber. 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