{"id":1159,"date":"2018-09-05T16:09:30","date_gmt":"2018-09-05T16:09:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/?p=1159"},"modified":"2018-09-05T21:27:10","modified_gmt":"2018-09-05T21:27:10","slug":"breaking-local-freshmen-still-raises-hand-to-use-restroom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2018\/09\/05\/breaking-local-freshmen-still-raises-hand-to-use-restroom\/","title":{"rendered":"BREAKING: Local Freshman Still Raises Hand to Use Restroom"},"content":{"rendered":"

By: Ragnarok\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Bloomington, IN \u2013 Three weeks into college, freshman Evan Scharter continues to dutifully ask to go to the bathroom. Every time Evan needs to do the deed, his impeccable moral code compels him to request permission from the professor.<\/p>\n

Troy Gideon, one of the affected students expressed his dismay: \u201cThe entire class despises how Sharter squeals ‘May I go potty?’ every lesson.” It crossed the line when Scharter spent half a class arguing that hall passes should be given out to uphold the sanctity of the classroom, just like high school.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis kid is out of his mind,\u201d stated Lexi Bell. \u201cMost people despise Finite, and don\u2019t want to wait to piss. I know I can\u2019t focus when I need to go.\u201d Though Lexi did admire how Scharter often wasted precious lecture time spearheading a petition to regulate toilet use.<\/p>\n

Fed up, Finite students finally gave in, joining Scharter\u2019s petition to mandate restroom hall passes and monitors. They then collaborated to form the B.O.W.E.L. movement: \u201cBathroom Occupation When Evan Leaves.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gideon, founder of the B.O.W.E.L. movement, explained, \u201cThis association of students is devoted to a simple mission, whenever one of us notices that Evan needs to go to the bathroom, a member will raise their hand, and ask to use the bathroom pass. With only one pass and one of our own as hall monitor, we ensure that Scharter can\u2019t tinkle.\u201d<\/p>\n

Following the formation of the movement, Scharter’s Finite grade has plummeted, on account of his inability to focus during class.<\/p>\n

At press-time, Scharter was found in the bathroom, receiving an unauthorized swirlie between classes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By: Ragnarok Bloomington, IN \u2013 Three weeks into college, freshman Evan Scharter continues to dutifully ask to go to the bathroom. Every time Evan needs to do the deed, his […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1160,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[299],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/10.jpg?fit=852%2C480&ssl=1","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7b5Hd-iH","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1159"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1159"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1159\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1164,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1159\/revisions\/1164"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1160"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1159"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1159"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1159"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}