{"id":1203,"date":"2018-09-21T18:09:21","date_gmt":"2018-09-21T18:09:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/?p=1203"},"modified":"2018-09-21T18:09:21","modified_gmt":"2018-09-21T18:09:21","slug":"your-professors-5-favorite-students-and-why-youre-not-on-that-list","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2018\/09\/21\/your-professors-5-favorite-students-and-why-youre-not-on-that-list\/","title":{"rendered":"Your Professor’s 5 Favorite Students and Why You\u2019re Not On That List"},"content":{"rendered":"

By: Jack Peebis<\/p>\n

1. Chelsea
\nChelsea is the perfect teacher\u2019s pet. Every morning, exactly ten minutes before the 8 am lecture begins, she\u00a0\"\"struts into class and greets your professor with a genuine \u201cHow are you today?\u201d that for a moment almost makes him forget the years of disillusionment that made him resent going into academia. It doesn\u2019t matter when she forgets to do the assignments every other week; her presence is a blinding beam of light in a classroom of very, very tired people. But you\u2019re not Chelsea. You once asked the professor how he was doing, and when he said \u201cI\u2019ve been better,\u201d you responded with, \u201cIf you ever need anything at all, come to me.\u201d Then you put your hand on his shoulder and, staring directly into his eyes, said, \u201cI would do anything for you.\u201d He doesn\u2019t call on your side of the room anymore.<\/p>\n

2. Harry
\nHarry talks a lot in class, references the readings, and puts out papers that are concise, well-researched, and, most importantly, easy to grade. He\u2019s the star student who somehow never lost his spark after freshman year, and his interest in the course material makes the professor feel like his life\u2019s work researching the Freudian implications of The Very Hungry Caterpillar were worthwhile.
\nYou, on the other hand, once turned in a 10-page paper that referenced at least twenty different articles on the same topic with five pages of bibliography and footnotes, and your professor still called you in for plagiarism because you clearly just directly quoted the book that he himself wrote.<\/p>\n

3. Marsha
\nMarsha used to be yet another informatics major who just needed an Arts and Humanities gen-ed, but now she\u2019s considering changing her major because of your professor\u2019s class. Her devotion to literature rather than a job-securing degree that guarantees a future makes your professor feel better about his poor life decisions.
\nMeanwhile, one day your professor looked up to see you staring at him through the small window in his door. When he made eye contact, you turned around and ran away, humiliated. Shortly after, he increased his life insurance.<\/p>\n

4. Dave
\nDave\u2019s just cool. You do the math.<\/p>\n

5. Elaine
\nMany summers ago, your professor was walking wearily across campus when he saw a beautiful redheaded woman picking tulips in the brush, a book of poetry open at her side. He was compelled to sit next to her, and he listened to her talk for hours about poetry, and tulips, and the beauty of language and how the world changes.
\nTheir relationship was the stuff of fairy tales; stories about love that he\u2019d read long ago and forgotten about. She gave him the gift of words, and he doted on every poem she\u2019d ever loved, wanted to learn more about what they meant, took classes to learn the language of poetry and spent every waking moment poring over Plath, Wordsworth, and Roosevelt. His passion for her became his renewed passion for learning, and, for the first time in years, he was happy.
\nUntil he lost her. One day, she was gone, and all she\u2019d left was all the books, all the knowledge within.
\nElaine never speaks in class. She\u2019s never been to office hours. She rarely even makes eye contact. But still, something about her reminds him of that summer girl he\u2019d met all those years ago. And while he\u2019ll never initiate conversation with her, will never call on her in class unprompted, she gives him a sense of comfort knowing that, perhaps, in some way, his beloved continues to live on.<\/p>\n

As for you? You don’t make the list because one time you hit your professor\u2019s dog with your car and kept driving.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By: Jack Peebis 1. Chelsea Chelsea is the perfect teacher\u2019s pet. Every morning, exactly ten minutes before the 8 am lecture begins, she\u00a0struts into class and greets your professor with […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1204,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[299],"tags":[406,409,410,408,411,407],"class_list":["post-1203","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-education","tag-chelsea","tag-dave","tag-elaine","tag-marsha","tag-not-you","tag-richard","has_thumb"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/prof_s_favorite.jpg?fit=768%2C455&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7b5Hd-jp","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1203","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1203"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1203\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1206,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1203\/revisions\/1206"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1204"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1203"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1203"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1203"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}