{"id":1260,"date":"2018-10-22T16:19:59","date_gmt":"2018-10-22T16:19:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/?p=1260"},"modified":"2018-11-08T20:57:09","modified_gmt":"2018-11-08T20:57:09","slug":"selfless-freshman-couple-on-e-bus-makes-out-without-tongue","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2018\/10\/22\/selfless-freshman-couple-on-e-bus-makes-out-without-tongue\/","title":{"rendered":"Selfless: Freshman Couple on E-Bus Makes Out Without Tongue"},"content":{"rendered":"

By: Maura Less<\/p>\n

BLOOMINGTON, IN- A freshman couple on the morning E-Bus made waves across campus as they performed their morning snog, without their usual, grotesque display of slobber.<\/p>\n

For years, countless Freshman couples have asserted their dominance on the E by aggressively making \"\"<\/a>out with their partner. This, in time, became part of many student\u2019s normal morning routine. One student, Eric Puck, has observed this particular couple every morning since classes started. \u201cI was honestly shocked to see them keep it dry for so long,\u201d exclaimed Puck. \u201cUsually, they\u2019re full french by the time I get on in the mornings so it was a nice surprise for me that they weren\u2019t playing tonsil hockey today.\u201d Another student, Lisa Newcar, described this as \u201cthe single most heroic thing she\u2019d ever witnessed.\u201d<\/p>\n

The couple in question, Daniel Pannert and Chen Li, have terrorized the E-Bus since their move-in day, often straight-up groping each other across three seats. When asked about the conspicuous lack of tongue this morning, Pannucci revealed that he himself didn\u2019t know. \u201cUsually I suck on that fat, juicy tongue the first chance I get,\u201d he explained a little too enthusiastically, \u201cbut today I didn\u2019t even get to lick it.\u201d<\/p>\n

A follow-up with Li cleared the air, as she reported a sore taste bud. \u201cIt wasn\u2019t anything we did on purpose. Call me selfless if you truly believe it, but I wasn\u2019t gonna let Danny suction cup me today, that would have hurt like a bitch.\u201d<\/p>\n

Regardless of the reasoning behind the dry make out session, at press-time the two were found exiting the E bus to go fuck in Wells’ stacks.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By: Maura Less BLOOMINGTON, IN- A freshman couple on the morning E-Bus made waves across campus as they performed their morning snog, without their usual, grotesque display of slobber. For […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1261,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[426,429,424,427,425,428],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/making_out_on_bus.jpg?fit=600%2C400&ssl=1","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7b5Hd-kk","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1260"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1260"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1260\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1293,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1260\/revisions\/1293"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1261"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1260"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1260"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1260"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}