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% effective birth control method,\u201d stated president Michael McRobbie. \u201cOur Indiana Uterine device will ensure that our female student bodies will be able to get ‘knackered\u2019 without getting ‘knocked-up.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\nBy:\u00a0Picov Andropov<\/p>\n
BLOOMINGTON, IN \u2013 In an effort to combat the rising rate of pregnancy amongst the female student body, Indiana University is launching a new line of \u201cIU-D\u2019s.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019re making a real break-through with this revolutionary crimson and cream, 99.8% effective birth control method,\u201d stated president Michael McRobbie. \u201cOur Indiana Uterine device will ensure that our female student bodies will be able to get ‘knackered\u2019 without getting ‘knocked-up.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n
The new device will be available to be installed at no cost at the IU Health Center. Nurses project wait times to be roughly 5 years, a whole 10 years shorter than the standard wait-time to visit the health center.<\/p>\n
In fact, IU has set a remarkable precedent in this field, and other Universities are beginning to follow suit. On the east coast, Villanova is launching their line of \u2018Villanova Vasectomies,\u2019 and back home, Purdue just announced its line of \u2018Purdue Prophylactics.\u2019 However, as it stands these methods are only about 30% effective at preventing pregnancy. In addition, students at Purdue have complained about the condoms leaving black and gold streaks on their genitals as well as the distinct smell of \u2018failure.\u2019<\/p>\n
We interviewed Blake Cooper, local Alpha Kappa Psi pledge, who stated, \u201cI think it\u2019s great that this school\u2019s taking initiative on such an important issue. I\u2019d like to put my IU-D in those IU-D\u2019s, if I-You know what I IU-mean, amiright?\u201d<\/p>\n
To all those girls considering an IU-D, IU Health lead physician, Barbara Burgess urged caution in choosing a partner: “While this product can prevent pregnancy, it cannot prevent bad sex, or a deep sense of regret.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
By:\u00a0Picov Andropov BLOOMINGTON, IN \u2013 In an effort to combat the rising rate of pregnancy amongst the female student body, Indiana University is launching a new line of \u201cIU-D\u2019s.\u201d \u201cWe\u2019re […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1295,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1294","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-science-technology","has_thumb"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/IUD.png?fit=2100%2C1500&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7b5Hd-kS","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1294","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1294"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1294\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1296,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1294\/revisions\/1296"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1295"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1294"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1294"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1294"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}