{"id":1294,"date":"2018-11-12T16:25:01","date_gmt":"2018-11-12T16:25:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/?p=1294"},"modified":"2018-11-12T16:25:01","modified_gmt":"2018-11-12T16:25:01","slug":"breaking-iu-to-launch-new-line-of-iu-ds","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2018\/11\/12\/breaking-iu-to-launch-new-line-of-iu-ds\/","title":{"rendered":"BREAKING: IU to Launch New Line of ‘IU-Ds’"},"content":{"rendered":"

By:\u00a0Picov Andropov<\/p>\n

BLOOMINGTON, IN \u2013 In an effort to combat the rising rate of pregnancy amongst the female student body, Indiana University is launching a new line of \u201cIU-D\u2019s.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re making a real break-through with this revolutionary crimson and cream, 99.8\"\"% effective birth control method,\u201d stated president Michael McRobbie. \u201cOur Indiana Uterine device will ensure that our female student bodies will be able to get ‘knackered\u2019 without getting ‘knocked-up.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

The new device will be available to be installed at no cost at the IU Health Center. Nurses project wait times to be roughly 5 years, a whole 10 years shorter than the standard wait-time to visit the health center.<\/p>\n

In fact, IU has set a remarkable precedent in this field, and other Universities are beginning to follow suit. On the east coast, Villanova is launching their line of \u2018Villanova Vasectomies,\u2019 and back home, Purdue just announced its line of \u2018Purdue Prophylactics.\u2019 However, as it stands these methods are only about 30% effective at preventing pregnancy. In addition, students at Purdue have complained about the condoms leaving black and gold streaks on their genitals as well as the distinct smell of \u2018failure.\u2019<\/p>\n

We interviewed Blake Cooper, local Alpha Kappa Psi pledge, who stated, \u201cI think it\u2019s great that this school\u2019s taking initiative on such an important issue. I\u2019d like to put my IU-D in those IU-D\u2019s, if I-You know what I IU-mean, amiright?\u201d<\/p>\n

To all those girls considering an IU-D, IU Health lead physician, Barbara Burgess urged caution in choosing a partner: “While this product can prevent pregnancy, it cannot prevent bad sex, or a deep sense of regret.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By:\u00a0Picov Andropov BLOOMINGTON, IN \u2013 In an effort to combat the rising rate of pregnancy amongst the female student body, Indiana University is launching a new line of \u201cIU-D\u2019s.\u201d \u201cWe\u2019re […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1295,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1294","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-science-technology","has_thumb"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/IUD.png?fit=2100%2C1500&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7b5Hd-kS","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":613,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2017\/02\/16\/iu-now-offering-mansplaining-as-second-language\/","url_meta":{"origin":1294,"position":0},"title":"IU Now Offering Mansplaining as Second Language","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"February 16, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Pink Freud BLOOMINGTON, IN -- Indiana University has just announced plans to begin offering the art of overly simplifying and talking down to other people as a second language for all those who aren't quite sure what a man means when he is explaining something. \u201cWhen I first came\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Local"","block_context":{"text":"Local","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/local\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/mansplaining.jpg?fit=750%2C400&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/mansplaining.jpg?fit=750%2C400&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/mansplaining.jpg?fit=750%2C400&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/mansplaining.jpg?fit=750%2C400&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":151,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2015\/08\/22\/iu-food-hacks\/","url_meta":{"origin":1294,"position":1},"title":"IU Food Hacks","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"August 22, 2015","format":"image","excerpt":"By: Pink Freud","rel":"","context":"In "Local"","block_context":{"text":"Local","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/local\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/foodcourt.jpg?fit=512%2C384&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1547,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2019\/10\/18\/iu-issues-general-alert-something-happening-somewhere-probably\/","url_meta":{"origin":1294,"position":2},"title":"IU Issues General Alert: Something Happening Somewhere, Probably","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"October 18, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Peebis, Jack Peebis Students at IU were shocked to see their phones light up with an IU General Alert this past Sunday. The initial shock was that there was an alert at all; \u201cI totally forgot there was even a system for this,\u201d remarked one student. However, as they got\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Entertainment"","block_context":{"text":"Entertainment","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/entertainment\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/Screenshot-39.png?fit=675%2C209&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/Screenshot-39.png?fit=675%2C209&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/Screenshot-39.png?fit=675%2C209&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":159,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2015\/08\/23\/iu-welcomes-wingdings-cultural-center\/","url_meta":{"origin":1294,"position":3},"title":"IU Welcomes Wingdings Cultural Center","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"August 23, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"*We apologize on behalf of Wordpress on its prejudice against the Wingding history and its people, as evidenced by the website's refusal to accommodate their culture and language.* By: Pink Freud This year, IU\u2019s international community marks a milestone with the opening of the Wingdings Cultural Center. Since gaining recognition\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Local"","block_context":{"text":"Local","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/local\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/wingding.png?fit=1200%2C901&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/wingding.png?fit=1200%2C901&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/wingding.png?fit=1200%2C901&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/wingding.png?fit=1200%2C901&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/wingding.png?fit=1200%2C901&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":854,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2017\/10\/14\/iu-football-looks-to-keep-homecoming-losing-streak-alive\/","url_meta":{"origin":1294,"position":4},"title":"IU Football Looks to Keep Homecoming Losing Streak Alive","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"October 14, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Bismo Falcor and Justin TruBRO BLOOMINGTON, IN - Following 6 consecutive losses on homecoming weekend, the Indiana University football team looks to add onto that impressive streak of disappointment during today\u2019s game against University of Michigan. Despite the fact that Michigan has the nation\u2019s top ranked defense, IU head\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Sports"","block_context":{"text":"Sports","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/sports\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/331195_actual.jpg?fit=1024%2C683&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/331195_actual.jpg?fit=1024%2C683&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/331195_actual.jpg?fit=1024%2C683&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/331195_actual.jpg?fit=1024%2C683&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":982,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2018\/02\/06\/local-student-finds-waiting-room-fee-on-health-center-bill\/","url_meta":{"origin":1294,"position":5},"title":"Local Student Finds Waiting Room Fee on Health Center Bill","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"February 6, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Ariel Gold BLOOMINGTON, IN -- Last Thursday, IU student Mac Davidson visited the health center only to find a $45 waiting room fee on his bill. \u201cI was shocked! 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