{"id":1297,"date":"2018-11-14T17:42:18","date_gmt":"2018-11-14T17:42:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/?p=1297"},"modified":"2018-11-14T17:42:18","modified_gmt":"2018-11-14T17:42:18","slug":"breaking-iu-french-and-italian-department-to-separate-due-to-overwhelming-sexual-tension","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2018\/11\/14\/breaking-iu-french-and-italian-department-to-separate-due-to-overwhelming-sexual-tension\/","title":{"rendered":"BREAKING: IU French and Italian Department to Separate Due to \u2018Overwhelming Sexual Tension\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"

By: Jake Spear\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

BLOOMINGTON, IN–Due to an increasing inability to focus on classes the IU French and Italian Department, FRIT, decided it’s best to separate.<\/p>\n

Department Chair Massimo Scalabrini released a statement Monday, “It has come to my attention that an increasing number of our staff are straight-up fucking. I admit that sensuous lovemaking is an integral part of Italian and French cultures, and I’m glad to know that our students are being educated on the cultural and sexual details of life in southern Europe. However, with more and more class time being taken up with sex, wine, and foreplay, this relationship simply isn’t working.<\/p>\n

This announcement comes on the heels of a scandal last month, wherein professors for FRIT-M307 and FRIT-F100 coordinated a mandatory fuck session as a part of understanding the dominant and submissive roles of Italy and France during WWII.<\/p>\n

Not every student is excited about this split. Junior Gabriel Sotto expressed his frustration, “They’re romance languages for Christ sake! I took Italian actively trying to get laid. This is my third year; if they take the sex out of the curriculum, my professor will realize that I don’t actually speak Italian.”<\/p>\n

At press time, Italian professors Sofia Lucciano and Giuseppe Pisani were seen fucking outside Wells Library, alternating taking drags from a cigarette.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By: Jake Spear BLOOMINGTON, IN–Due to an increasing inability to focus on classes the IU French and Italian Department, FRIT, decided it’s best to separate. Department Chair Massimo Scalabrini released […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1298,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[299],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1297","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-education","has_thumb"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/FRIT_Sexual_Tension-Resized.jpg?fit=591%2C422&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7b5Hd-kV","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1218,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2018\/09\/28\/progress-iu-english-department-to-teach-grammatically-correct-forms-of-yeet\/","url_meta":{"origin":1297,"position":0},"title":"BREAKING: IU English Department to Teach Grammatically-Correct Forms of “Yeet”","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"September 28, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Boxxer Brief BLOOMINGTON, IN--IU's English Department rule last week that with \"yeet\" finding its way into everyday vernacular, college of arts and science students should be taught the grammatically correct forms of \"yeet\". This progressive move comes as a surprise after last year' \"whomsier\" initiative was yeeted. \"I believe\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Education"","block_context":{"text":"Education","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/education\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/yeet.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/yeet.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/yeet.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/yeet.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/yeet.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1123,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2018\/04\/27\/10-major-construction-projects-for-the-bicentennial\/","url_meta":{"origin":1297,"position":1},"title":"11 Major Construction Projects for the Bicentennial","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"April 27, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Flipside Staff Transform IMU into Big Fucking Hole Let\u2019s be real here, the school has been planning to do this since 2015, but after massive student protests, they were unable to pull the trigger. Expect the building to finally undergo its beautiful transformation into a state-of-the-art hole in the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Local"","block_context":{"text":"Local","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/local\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/iu_bicentennial.jpg?fit=792%2C576&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/iu_bicentennial.jpg?fit=792%2C576&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/iu_bicentennial.jpg?fit=792%2C576&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/iu_bicentennial.jpg?fit=792%2C576&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":822,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2017\/09\/27\/iu-freshman-learns-more-in-3-days-in-cave-than-he-will-in-4-years-of-college\/","url_meta":{"origin":1297,"position":2},"title":"IU Freshman Learns More in 3 Days in Cave than he will in 4 Years of College","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"September 27, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Bismo Falcor and Aesthetic Danger BLOOMINGTON, IN - Following an ordeal that left him trapped in a cave for 3 days, local freshman Lukas Cavar was left pondering if there\u2019s anything he could possibly learn in the next 4 years that could be more useful than what he just\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Education"","block_context":{"text":"Education","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/education\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/22054258_10214334517946281_1491035157_n.png?fit=427%2C640&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1294,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2018\/11\/12\/breaking-iu-to-launch-new-line-of-iu-ds\/","url_meta":{"origin":1297,"position":3},"title":"BREAKING: IU to Launch New Line of ‘IU-Ds’","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"November 12, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"By:\u00a0Picov Andropov BLOOMINGTON, IN \u2013 In an effort to combat the rising rate of pregnancy amongst the female student body, Indiana University is launching a new line of \u201cIU-D\u2019s.\u201d \u201cWe\u2019re making a real break-through with this revolutionary crimson and cream, 99.8% effective birth control method,\u201d stated president Michael McRobbie. \u201cOur\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Science & Technology"","block_context":{"text":"Science & Technology","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/science-technology\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/IUD.png?fit=1200%2C857&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/IUD.png?fit=1200%2C857&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/IUD.png?fit=1200%2C857&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/IUD.png?fit=1200%2C857&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/IUD.png?fit=1200%2C857&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":986,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2018\/02\/09\/researchers-fear-iu-greek-houses-could-become-endangered-by-2030\/","url_meta":{"origin":1297,"position":4},"title":"Researchers Fear IU Greek Houses Could Become Endangered by 2030","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"February 9, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Jonathan Pollack and Bartholomew Bortles BLOOMINGTON, IN--A recent study conducted by the IU office of Sustainability suggests that Greek houses, if not managed properly, could become endangered by 2030. \u201cOver the past decade, we have seen that the Greek system\u2019s rising rates of charter revocations, bodily-fluid emissions, and assault\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Local"","block_context":{"text":"Local","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/local\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/DJyzdkFXcAE59Gz.jpg?fit=900%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/DJyzdkFXcAE59Gz.jpg?fit=900%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/DJyzdkFXcAE59Gz.jpg?fit=900%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/DJyzdkFXcAE59Gz.jpg?fit=900%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":151,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2015\/08\/22\/iu-food-hacks\/","url_meta":{"origin":1297,"position":5},"title":"IU Food Hacks","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"August 22, 2015","format":"image","excerpt":"By: Pink Freud","rel":"","context":"In "Local"","block_context":{"text":"Local","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/local\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/foodcourt.jpg?fit=512%2C384&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1297","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1297"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1297\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1299,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1297\/revisions\/1299"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1298"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1297"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1297"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1297"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}