{"id":1303,"date":"2018-11-16T20:24:36","date_gmt":"2018-11-16T20:24:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/?p=1303"},"modified":"2018-11-26T16:31:10","modified_gmt":"2018-11-26T16:31:10","slug":"14-executive-orders-you-missed-during-the-kavanagh-hearing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2018\/11\/16\/14-executive-orders-you-missed-during-the-kavanagh-hearing\/","title":{"rendered":"14 Executive Orders You Missed During the Kavanagh Hearing"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

By: Jake Spear<\/p>\n

Legally, no, the president might not be able to make legislation\u2014but frankly, who gives a shit anymore? Our reporters here at Hoosier Flipside have listed the 14 executive orders you were too busy worrying about Brett Kavanaugh\u2019s little ferret face to notice.<\/p>\n

1. If you’re a part of the FBI investigation for Trump, he’s legally allowed to give you a noogie.
\nIt’s just a part of the chain of command.<\/p>\n

2. Repealed the 3rd-27th Amendments
\nBecause all we really need to be “the land of the free” are magazines and megaphones.<\/p>\n

3. There is a federal fine for voting Democrat
\nThis doesn’t include the extra spent on taxes.<\/p>\n

4. You’re legally obligated to own 2 firearms
\nIt’s called the 2nd Amendment for a reason.<\/p>\n

5. All female senators must be chosen through The Bachelor
\nHonestly, Alexandria Occasio-Cortez still has a pretty good shot.<\/p>\n

6. Redskins have to change their name to something even more offensive
\n“The football team known as the Washington Redskins are now hereby known as the [REDACTED] Fuckers.\u201d<\/p>\n

7. Transgendered people can’t buy bicycles
\nActivists have started selling pancycles to support the trans community.<\/p>\n

8. All radio stations must play the national anthem
\nSpecifically, the version recorded from Barron Trump’s 3rd grade recorder recital.<\/p>\n

9. Added a \u201cTake-backsie Clause\u201d into every treaty
\nAll treaties must also now be confirmed with a pinkie swear.<\/p>\n

10. New York Times has to put “Fake News” on every cover
\nSmug bastards think they’re better than the Hoosier Flipside.<\/p>\n

11. CDC must refer to Crohn’s disease as Macron’s disease
\nWe’re not sure if Macron has it, but we’re going to act like he does.<\/p>\n

12. Every U.S. citizen legally has to follow Trump on Twitter
\nJust another state-sponsored form of news, just like NPR.<\/p>\n

13. Judge Jennine Pierro has been appointed to the Supreme Court
\nShe’ll definitely be willing to work with the “Demon-Rats”<\/p>\n

14. Bernie Sanders will be crucified
\nIf he stays dead, Trump will be happy. If he rises on the 3rd day, Pence will be.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By: Jake Spear Legally, no, the president might not be able to make legislation\u2014but frankly, who gives a shit anymore? Our reporters here at Hoosier Flipside have listed the 14 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1304,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3],"tags":[443,389,111],"class_list":["post-1303","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-politics","tag-executive-order","tag-kavanaugh","tag-trump","has_thumb"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/Executive_Order_Resized.jpg?fit=591%2C422&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7b5Hd-l1","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1303","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1303"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1303\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1309,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1303\/revisions\/1309"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1304"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1303"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1303"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1303"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}