{"id":1475,"date":"2019-03-12T19:29:34","date_gmt":"2019-03-12T19:29:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/?p=1475"},"modified":"2019-03-12T19:30:04","modified_gmt":"2019-03-12T19:30:04","slug":"how-the-signs-will-be-spending-spring-break","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2019\/03\/12\/how-the-signs-will-be-spending-spring-break\/","title":{"rendered":"How the Signs Will Be Spending Spring Break"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: center;\">By Robbie McMichael<\/p>\n<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"1476\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2019\/03\/12\/how-the-signs-will-be-spending-spring-break\/spring-break-zodiac\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/spring-break-zodiac.jpg?fit=2126%2C1412&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"2126,1412\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"spring break zodiac\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/spring-break-zodiac.jpg?fit=1024%2C680&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-1476\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/spring-break-zodiac.jpg?resize=2126%2C1412&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"spring break zodiac\" width=\"2126\" height=\"1412\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/spring-break-zodiac.jpg?w=2126&amp;ssl=1 2126w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/spring-break-zodiac.jpg?resize=300%2C199&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/spring-break-zodiac.jpg?resize=768%2C510&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/spring-break-zodiac.jpg?resize=1024%2C680&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/spring-break-zodiac.jpg?resize=480%2C320&amp;ssl=1 480w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/spring-break-zodiac.jpg?w=2000&amp;ssl=1 2000w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>1. Aries: you will be joining the military! What a better time than spring break to commit yourself to violent imperial expansion!<br \/>\n2. Taurus: you will be attempting to reverse your own circumsicion and, if you figure out a painless enough route\u2014try it on your friends.<br \/>\n3. Gemini: Twins, you should go backpacking in a former soviet bloc state. And also getting too drunk and breaking up with your girlfriend over speakerphone at the bar.<br \/>\n4. Cancer: I don\u2019t know, try Fort Lauderdale?<br \/>\n5. Leo: the stars are telling you to get a culturally insensitive tattoo in Thailand or, even better, get cornrows on your Jamaica trip.<br \/>\n6. Virgo: now is the perfect time for you to remove that suspicious mole.<br \/>\n7. Libra: your creative spirit will lead you to crafting a deeply aesthetic death.<br \/>\n8. Scorpio: has anyone ever told you that you should start a podcast?<br \/>\n9. Sagittarius: why not see what all the hype is about? Sag, you should try internet porn for the first time this break.<br \/>\n10. Capricorn: you will lose your car keys and spend the rest of Spring break turning over couch cushions and calling the bars.<br \/>\n11. Aquarius: Start your small business! Aqua, it\u2019s time to start selling essential oils to high school friends on Facebook.<br \/>\n12. Pisces: try to drink some water. Also, stop crying.<br \/>\n13. Year of the Tiger: you&#8217;re just&#8230; not gonna have a good time. Be careful.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By Robbie McMichael 1. Aries: you will be joining the military! What a better time than spring break to commit yourself to violent imperial expansion! 2. Taurus: you will be [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1476,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1475","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-entertainment","has_thumb"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/spring-break-zodiac.jpg?fit=2126%2C1412&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7b5Hd-nN","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1475","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1475"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1475\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1479,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1475\/revisions\/1479"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1476"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1475"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1475"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1475"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}