By: Flipside Staff<\/p>\n
For those who don\u2019t know, IUSA elections will be held April 8th and 9th. This will give every student a chance to voice opinions on what issues IU should prioritize, as it strives to make campus a better place. Issues such as student safety and environmental concern are on the table, but the Flipside writing staff had other ideas in mind\u2026 Bismo Falcor It is undeniable that ease of transportation is a major issue on campus. But fear not, Hoosier: I have the solution we\u2019ve all been waiting for. Under my leadership, each and every crowded staircase will receive a brand new bike lane. No longer will anyone have to worry about throats getting cut in the spokes of a bicycle on the way to the IMU Starbucks. Benedict Clinkerton I propose mandatory helmets and flashing safety vests for all incoming freshmen in order to protect the rest of the students. Ed Eppus As president of Indiana University, my platform would be geared toward intercollegiate politics. I vow to open up talks with Purdue on the peaceful production of biological superweapons, and move toward tearing down the IUPUI wall. My Edonomics policy would allocate 40 percent of IU\u2019s GDP to Coach Creen. Constance T. Nopel As Supreme Leader for the Indiana University Student Organization, I would require that all chalk advertisements be written in Comic Sans solely on the walls of Kelley, and, if read aloud, must be yelled in a vaguely racist Chinese accent. H\u00e1lfd\u00e1n Meth\u00fasalemsson I will personally build a 50 foot statue made of pure gold of Herman B Wells in mortal combat with a dragon and place it in front of the library for all to worship twice a day. Also, free condoms. And pizza. Mystery Writer THERE ARE TOO MANY BUILDINGS ON CAMPUS. We have devoted an entire building to the study of geology. Millions of dollars have been put into constructing a massive edifice, full of classrooms and lecture halls and offices, all devoted to staring at stones. Campus is jam packed with buildings which exist for no purpose other than to make freshmen feel confused. If you vote for me, I will bomb these locations.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
By: Flipside Staff For those who don\u2019t know, IUSA elections will be held April 8th and 9th. This will give every student a chance to voice opinions on what issues […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":149,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2,3],"tags":[43,58,60,89],"class_list":["post-148","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-local","category-politics","tag-flipside","tag-indiana-university","tag-iusa","tag-staff","has_thumb"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/trolliusa.png?fit=612%2C541&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7b5Hd-2o","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":877,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2017\/10\/23\/open-letter-to-the-ids\/","url_meta":{"origin":148,"position":0},"title":"Open Letter to the IDS","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"October 23, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Dear Indiana Daily Student, Recently you published a column titled \u201cKinsey Confidential answers a question about eating ejaculate\u201d where the subject matter of eating one\u2019s own semen is discussed. Seeing that our newspapers are the two largest in their respective fields on the Indiana University campus, we at Hoosier Flipside\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Local"","block_context":{"text":"Local","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/local\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/image.png?fit=1200%2C351&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/image.png?fit=1200%2C351&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/image.png?fit=1200%2C351&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/image.png?fit=1200%2C351&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/image.png?fit=1200%2C351&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":600,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2017\/02\/14\/flipside-kama-sutra\/","url_meta":{"origin":148,"position":1},"title":"Flipside Kama Sutra","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"February 14, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Staff We at Flipside would like to wish all of our readers a wonderful Valentine's Day. Along with our wishes, please enjoy the Flipside Kama Sutra, a list composed of the 10 acts any romantic IU student should know. The Collins -\u00a0Look away in disgust every time a penis\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Entertainment"","block_context":{"text":"Entertainment","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/entertainment\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/16763819_1358746257501720_1499122204_o.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/16763819_1358746257501720_1499122204_o.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/16763819_1358746257501720_1499122204_o.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/16763819_1358746257501720_1499122204_o.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/16763819_1358746257501720_1499122204_o.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1239,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2018\/10\/16\/19-totally-real-classes-that-iu-actually-offers\/","url_meta":{"origin":148,"position":2},"title":"19 Totally Real Classes That IU Actually Offers","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"October 16, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"By Jake Spear and Flipside Staff Registering for classes can be a difficult process. Who really knows what they want to study? And there are so many options! That's why Flipside is here to help! We've compiled a list of the weirdest classes that IU actually offers to students for\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Education"","block_context":{"text":"Education","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/education\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/Screenshot_20181016-152110.jpg?fit=915%2C1017&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/Screenshot_20181016-152110.jpg?fit=915%2C1017&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/Screenshot_20181016-152110.jpg?fit=915%2C1017&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/Screenshot_20181016-152110.jpg?fit=915%2C1017&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1093,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2018\/04\/18\/little-500-accident-drunk-student-walking-near-sample-gates-causes-5-person-pile-up\/","url_meta":{"origin":148,"position":3},"title":"Little 500 Accident: Drunk Student Walking Near Sample Gates Causes 5 Person Pile-Up","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"April 18, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Jake Spear After accelerating too quickly through the Indiana Kirkwood crosswalk, Junior Ethan Willis collided with Sophomore Jessica Barthum. The resulting collision left 5 students prone, two students vomiting, and 30 students late to class. A spectator, freshman Alan Soesby described the accident, stating, \"This super drunk dude came\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Local"","block_context":{"text":"Local","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/local\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/5_person_pileup.jpg?fit=1080%2C693&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/5_person_pileup.jpg?fit=1080%2C693&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/5_person_pileup.jpg?fit=1080%2C693&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/5_person_pileup.jpg?fit=1080%2C693&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/5_person_pileup.jpg?fit=1080%2C693&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1041,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2018\/03\/21\/mcrobbie-to-replace-brick-paths-with-polished-marble-to-further-reduce-friction\/","url_meta":{"origin":148,"position":4},"title":"McRobbie to Replace Brick Paths With Polished Marble to Further Reduce Friction","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"March 21, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Jonathan Pollack BLOOMINGTON, IN-- President Michael McRobbie announced on Tuesday that, as part of new Phase 3 construction across campus, brick pathways throughout campus will be replaced with polished marble in an effort to further reduce friction for pedestrians. \u201cThe IUSA conducted surveys show that, even with literally any\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Education"","block_context":{"text":"Education","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/education\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/IndianaUniversityWinterCampus.jpg?fit=1024%2C768&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/IndianaUniversityWinterCampus.jpg?fit=1024%2C768&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/IndianaUniversityWinterCampus.jpg?fit=1024%2C768&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/IndianaUniversityWinterCampus.jpg?fit=1024%2C768&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":982,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2018\/02\/06\/local-student-finds-waiting-room-fee-on-health-center-bill\/","url_meta":{"origin":148,"position":5},"title":"Local Student Finds Waiting Room Fee on Health Center Bill","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"February 6, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Ariel Gold BLOOMINGTON, IN -- Last Thursday, IU student Mac Davidson visited the health center only to find a $45 waiting room fee on his bill. \u201cI was shocked! 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