{"id":1495,"date":"2019-03-27T18:09:58","date_gmt":"2019-03-27T18:09:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/?p=1495"},"modified":"2019-03-27T18:10:35","modified_gmt":"2019-03-27T18:10:35","slug":"cant-go-home-cant-stay-here-5-things-for-commuters-to-do-during-their-3-hour-gap-between-classes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2019\/03\/27\/cant-go-home-cant-stay-here-5-things-for-commuters-to-do-during-their-3-hour-gap-between-classes\/","title":{"rendered":"Can’t Go Home, Can’t Stay Here: 9 Things for Commuters To Do During Their 3 Hour Gap Between Classes"},"content":{"rendered":"

By: Robbie McMichael, Sutton Lee Seymour, Flipside Staff<\/p>\n

\"commuter.jpg\"<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Pace around a very populous area and talk loudly on your phone: Don’t worry, we’re sure that everybody trying to cut through the Wells lobby to get to class or take a study break wants to hear all about how your roommate never bothers to do the fucking dishes.<\/li>\n
  2. Masturbate in the IMU bathroom: We recommend the one behind the desk with the sorority girls asking you for money. It\u2019s a little slow, yet there\u2019s still a chance someone might catch you. Kinky!<\/li>\n
  3. Skinny dip at the WIC: What, so now you’re expected to bring your swimsuit on campus every time you ride the bus over just in case you feel the need to get all moist? Nah, girl; #freethatnipple all over the place.<\/li>\n
  4. Get to second base with the Showalter Fountain booby lady: You know you want a little squeeze. So wet, so slippery. Come on, just do it.<\/li>\n
  5. Take your laptop to UITS with porn still playing onscreen: “I have no idea what happened, dude. The ad just said I’d meet hot Russian babes, and now all of a sudden I’ve got a virus?!? You can’t trust any illegal anime streaming sites these days!”<\/li>\n
  6. Catch squirrels with an empty laundry basket: It’s not like you were ever do your laundry anyway. Plus, roasted squirrel makes a great snack for when your dinky 500 I-BUCKS plan runs out after two weeks.<\/li>\n
  7. Play with the cadavers in Jordan Hall: Come on, they’re basically real-life Barbie dolls. When else will you get to do that tea party you’ve always dreamed of?<\/li>\n
  8. Join the cadavers in Jordan Hall: Convince them that you\u2019re one of them. It’ll make the corpses more willing to perform your bidding. Trust me.<\/li>\n
  9. Bully the IUPD cadets for not being real officers: NOTE:<\/strong> Recommended for white people only.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    By: Robbie McMichael, Sutton Lee Seymour, Flipside Staff Pace around a very populous area and talk loudly on your phone: Don’t worry, we’re sure that everybody trying to cut through […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1496,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1495","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-entertainment","has_thumb"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/commuter.jpg?fit=1000%2C534&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7b5Hd-o7","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1644,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2021\/10\/26\/13-days-since-the-breakup-and-28-days-not-knowing-my-starbucks-order\/","url_meta":{"origin":1495,"position":0},"title":"13 Days since the breakup and 28 days not knowing my Starbucks order","author":"Jared Reed","date":"October 26, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Recently single man holding up line. 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