{"id":1531,"date":"2019-04-22T21:19:54","date_gmt":"2019-04-22T21:19:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/?p=1531"},"modified":"2019-04-22T21:20:00","modified_gmt":"2019-04-22T21:20:00","slug":"indiana-university-announces-plan-to-reanimate-1830s-inaugural-class-for-bicentennial-celebration","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2019\/04\/22\/indiana-university-announces-plan-to-reanimate-1830s-inaugural-class-for-bicentennial-celebration\/","title":{"rendered":"Indiana University Announces Plan to Reanimate 1830s Inaugural Class for Bicentennial Celebration"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

By: Barry Vile, Flipside Staff<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Indiana University president Michael McRobbie recently announced plans to bring the entire Indiana University class of 1830 back to life for the school’s 200th anniversary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“It’s incredible to think that we’ll have the opportunity to have a firsthand account of the university from almost 200 years ago,” said Dr. Josiah Chalmers, head of the IU Biotechnology program. “We’re very excited to hear about the differences between the university then and now, their reaction to women being allowed to speak, and what it was like to own black people.”
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The event has since sparked much controversy, with many questioning the morality of reviving so many long-dead individuals, especially when they have no idea that other races are now entitled to the same rights as them.
Carson Bigsby, area African-American Diaspora studies major, told reporters he looked forward to hearing what the undead class has to say. “I’ve been looking for a research topic for my final paper, and learning all the old, antiquated slurs these guys call black people sounds perfect.”
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the reanimation occurs, activities planned by the orientation committee are extensive and exciting. Class members are encouraged to sit in the oldest room in Ballantine Hall to look at paper cutouts of Kaitlyn Bennett’s Twitter, or, if they choose, they can watch a video loop of a whitewashed Jeanine Pirro talk about God on Fox News.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“I’ve been looking for a research topic for my final paper, and learning all the old, antiquated slurs these guys call black people sounds perfect.”
When the reanimation occurs, activities planned by the orientation committee are extensive and exciting. Class members are encouraged to sit in the oldest room in Ballantine Hall to look at paper cutouts of Kaitlyn Bennett’s Twitter, or, if they choose, they can watch a video loop of a whitewashed Jeanine Pirro talk about God on Fox News.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To ensure the comfort of the honored guests, the university has announced it will be taking several measures to keep them convinced that the enslavement of an entire race is still socially acceptable. These measures include the temporary covering up of the Neal Marshall building, removal of all portraits featuring black basketball players, and the paid leave of any minority professors. Bloomington and university residents have also been properly cautioned: women have been advised to wear layers and visible chastity belts if walking outside, LGBTQ+ students have been advised to speak only to reanimated guests as if they were their own Republican grandparents, as well as banning Doc Martens and platinum hair dye, and the only dogs allowed to be walked on campus at the time of the reanimation are white labs.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Amidst concerns that these measures will not be enough to ensure peace with IU’s zombified guests, historians have reassured the university that considering the current political and social landscape, the revived alumni might not even notice that they are in the 21st century.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By: Barry Vile, Flipside Staff Indiana University president Michael McRobbie recently announced plans to bring the entire Indiana University class of 1830 back to life for the school’s 200th anniversary. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1532,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1531","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-local","has_thumb"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/inaugural_class.jpg?fit=750%2C458&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7b5Hd-oH","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":613,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2017\/02\/16\/iu-now-offering-mansplaining-as-second-language\/","url_meta":{"origin":1531,"position":0},"title":"IU Now Offering Mansplaining as Second Language","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"February 16, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Pink Freud BLOOMINGTON, IN -- Indiana University has just announced plans to begin offering the art of overly simplifying and talking down to other people as a second language for all those who aren't quite sure what a man means when he is explaining something. \u201cWhen I first came\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Local"","block_context":{"text":"Local","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/local\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/mansplaining.jpg?fit=750%2C400&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/mansplaining.jpg?fit=750%2C400&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/mansplaining.jpg?fit=750%2C400&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/mansplaining.jpg?fit=750%2C400&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":554,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2017\/01\/19\/indiana-university-announces-plans-for-building-without-gaping-design-flaw\/","url_meta":{"origin":1531,"position":1},"title":"Indiana University Announces Plans for Building Without Gaping Design Flaw","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"January 19, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"By:\u00a0Jacopo Inboden BLOOMINGTON, IN - Indiana University has just announced plans for a new general studies building which will have absolutely zero rookie structural mistakes. \"We are very excited,\u201d University representative Karen Finkel informed Flipside reporters. \u201cWith the amount of time we have already spent renovating the rest of campus,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Local"","block_context":{"text":"Local","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/local\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/16128685_1333064960069850_1723100495_n.jpg?fit=555%2C370&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/16128685_1333064960069850_1723100495_n.jpg?fit=555%2C370&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/16128685_1333064960069850_1723100495_n.jpg?fit=555%2C370&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":490,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2016\/11\/12\/indiana-university-football-player-suspended-from-team-after-receiving-a-on-exam\/","url_meta":{"origin":1531,"position":2},"title":"Indiana University Football Player Suspended from Team after Receiving A on Exam","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"November 12, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Barry Vile After receiving a solid A this past week on his finite exam, Indiana University\u2019s backup quarterback Mike Austin was suspended from the team for \"not living up to team expectations,\u201d as stated by head coach, Kevin Wilson. \u00a0\u201cI can\u2019t believe one of our players took the time\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Sports"","block_context":{"text":"Sports","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/sports\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/football-940x626.jpg?fit=940%2C626&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/football-940x626.jpg?fit=940%2C626&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/football-940x626.jpg?fit=940%2C626&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/football-940x626.jpg?fit=940%2C626&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":588,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2017\/02\/06\/bloomington-buses-to-crack-down-on-fake-student-ids\/","url_meta":{"origin":1531,"position":3},"title":"Bloomington Buses to Crack Down on Fake Student IDs","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"February 6, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Joe King BLOOMINGTON, IN -- This past Thursday, Bloomington Transit released an official statement asserting that the service will be increasing its security measures to prevent the use of fake Indiana University IDs. The bus service currently provides fare-free transit to all IU students who present their university IDs\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Entertainment"","block_context":{"text":"Entertainment","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/entertainment\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/bus.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/bus.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/bus.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/bus.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/bus.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":228,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2015\/10\/28\/arboretum-dug-up-for-world-war-one-reenactment\/","url_meta":{"origin":1531,"position":4},"title":"Arboretum Dug Up for World War One Reenactment","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"October 28, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"By Pink Freud Students, faculty, and several Balkan nation states have been up in arms over the lack of access to the arboretum.\u00a0 In commemoration of the 100th anniversary of the outbreak of the Great War, the Indiana University Arboretum is being converted into a veritable no-mans-land of trenches, craters,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Local"","block_context":{"text":"Local","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/local\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/arboretum.jpg?fit=687%2C696&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/arboretum.jpg?fit=687%2C696&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/arboretum.jpg?fit=687%2C696&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":877,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2017\/10\/23\/open-letter-to-the-ids\/","url_meta":{"origin":1531,"position":5},"title":"Open Letter to the IDS","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"October 23, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Dear Indiana Daily Student, Recently you published a column titled \u201cKinsey Confidential answers a question about eating ejaculate\u201d where the subject matter of eating one\u2019s own semen is discussed. Seeing that our newspapers are the two largest in their respective fields on the Indiana University campus, we at Hoosier Flipside\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Local"","block_context":{"text":"Local","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/local\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/image.png?fit=1200%2C351&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/image.png?fit=1200%2C351&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/image.png?fit=1200%2C351&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/image.png?fit=1200%2C351&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/image.png?fit=1200%2C351&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1531","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1531"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1531\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1533,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1531\/revisions\/1533"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1532"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1531"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1531"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1531"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}