{"id":1577,"date":"2020-05-06T20:35:40","date_gmt":"2020-05-06T20:35:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/?p=1577"},"modified":"2020-05-06T20:35:43","modified_gmt":"2020-05-06T20:35:43","slug":"tenacious-guy-who-watches-espn-during-class-still-showing-up-in-person","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2020\/05\/06\/tenacious-guy-who-watches-espn-during-class-still-showing-up-in-person\/","title":{"rendered":"TENACIOUS: Guy Who Watches ESPN During Class Still Showing Up In-Person"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"
I hate him.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

by Jack Peebis<\/p>\n\n\n\n

BLOOMINGTON – In the wake of a global pandemic, many universities \nhave shuttered their windows and have moved their curricula online. Many\n students are handling the transition well, and many are struggling to \nkeep their heads afloat amid the uncertainty of the future. However, one\n IUB student, Brett Henderson, is still making his mark on campus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Brett is what his more attentive colleagues in the past have called a\n \u201cSchrodinger\u2019s Student.\u201d He shows up to class on a daily basis, but has\n never been seen actively taking notes, participating in class \ndiscussions, or even looking up once from whichever ESPN stream he\u2019s \ntuned to at the time. To everyone else, it looks like he (or, more \nlikely, his parents) have set down thousands of dollars for a change of \nbackground noise to his sports viewership. To onlookers, he is at once a\n student by virtue of being in a classroom, and yet not a student, as \nall other signs point to the contrary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, while all those fucking nerds are struggling to keep a solid\n GPA because they\u2019re too stubborn and egotistical to just take an S\/F \nfor the semester, Brett has defied all expectations and outperformed \neven his most studious classmates by continuing to show up to classes \nin-person, despite nobody being there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It seems that the perceived weakness of having no situational \nawareness whatsoever was the perfect adaptation to a total-shutdown \nscenario; while many students sit at home, cowering in apprehension of a\n future of any kind, Brett sits in class, continuing to watch streams. \nSometimes, he\u2019ll pop out an earbud, lean to his left and, without \nbreaking eye contact with his laptop screen, ask \u201cHey, we don\u2019t have a \nquiz today, do we?\u201d and, when met with silence, responds \u201cAlright, \ncool,\u201d and pops his earbud back in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If one were to look at the oblivious way he sits in class as if \nthere\u2019s another living soul in the building, they would see a living \ntime capsule into the long-forgotten age of About A Month & A Half \nAgo. By continuing to live his life as he always has, he succeeds in \nreminding us all of our lost sense of normalcy in these precarious \ntimes. And for that, collectively, we all say: Fuck you, Brett. Fuck. \nYou.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by Jack Peebis BLOOMINGTON – In the wake of a global pandemic, many universities have shuttered their windows and have moved their curricula online. Many students are handling the transition […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1578,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1577","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-entertainment","has_thumb"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/Screenshot-73.png?fit=681%2C484&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7b5Hd-pr","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":827,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2017\/10\/02\/calm-down-brett-four-ways-to-remind-brett-that-its-just-intramurals\/","url_meta":{"origin":1577,"position":0},"title":"Calm Down, Brett: Four Ways to Remind Brett that it’s Just Intramurals","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"October 2, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Gary Goldwater Brett is on another competition-induced rampage. 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