{"id":1602,"date":"2020-09-21T22:31:38","date_gmt":"2020-09-21T22:31:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/?p=1602"},"modified":"2021-01-16T00:21:38","modified_gmt":"2021-01-16T00:21:38","slug":"a-cover-letter-to-be-your-boyfriend","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2020\/09\/21\/a-cover-letter-to-be-your-boyfriend\/","title":{"rendered":"A cover letter to be your boyfriend"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"
Bret waiting on his interview with the boyfriend selection committee.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

written by: Jared Reed<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To the boyfriend selection committee,

Hello, I am writing to express my interest in the Fall 2020 boyfriend position. I have an understanding of all the standard procedures in this industry. Some of my strongest skills include the classic arm around the shoulder during a movie, the more complex “Go ahead, keep my nice sweatshirt” tactic, and the even more intricate remembering of a birthday. I feel like I can utilize these techniques and more in this opportunity.

While I have not held the official boyfriend title in some time, I believe my recent standings as \u201cclose guy friend\u201d and \u201cthis guy I\u2019m talking to\u201d have more than prepared me for this position. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 `.

This summer I played a key role as \u201cbait\u201d to make someone\u2019s ex jealous. I usually don\u2019t like to brag during these things, but it went well, they are back together and stronger than ever.

Feel free to check out my portfolio for more of my work, including an interactive webpage that allows you to put your face in an Instagram post of us together going on, as the caption puts it, \u201ca night out with this one.\u201d

I understand that this is an entry-level position, but I can see myself moving up the ladder quickly. While I may begin being tasked with planning dates and handholding \u2013 over time I think you\u2019ll see I have the ability to manage bigger projects like buying flowers or even meeting with the higher-ups (your parents).

I would like to address the issue that I have not included references in this application. While I would consider my separation from these previous roles clean and smooth, I have been informed it is best for everyone if they \u201cnever hear my name uttered again.\u201d

Thank you for your time and consideration of my application \u2013 I believe I am a strong candidate and I would appreciate it if you swiped right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your future husband… Too much?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

written by: Jared Reed To the boyfriend selection committee, Hello, I am writing to express my interest in the Fall 2020 boyfriend position. I have an understanding of all the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2726,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1602","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-entertainment","has_thumb"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7b5Hd-pQ","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1148,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2018\/08\/24\/theres-so-many-dicks-i-havent-tasted-and-9-other-ways-to-break-up-with-your-boyfriend\/","url_meta":{"origin":1602,"position":0},"title":"“There’s so Many Dicks I Haven’t Tasted!”, and 9 Other Ways to Break Up With Your Boyfriend","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"August 24, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Sutton Lee Seymour Breaking up with somebody is one of the hardest things you will ever have to do. 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BUB\u2019s Big Ugly Burgers For a piece of meat more\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Local"","block_context":{"text":"Local","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/local\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/IU-Campus-Night-1.jpg?fit=1200%2C701&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/IU-Campus-Night-1.jpg?fit=1200%2C701&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/IU-Campus-Night-1.jpg?fit=1200%2C701&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/IU-Campus-Night-1.jpg?fit=1200%2C701&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/IU-Campus-Night-1.jpg?fit=1200%2C701&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1183,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2018\/09\/14\/in-memoriam-students-hold-candlelight-vigil-for-imu-burger-king\/","url_meta":{"origin":1602,"position":2},"title":"In Memoriam: Students Hold Candlelight Vigil for IMU Burger King","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"September 14, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"By: K.C. 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