Then explain why my contact on your phone is a picture of the Spirit Halloween juniors\u2019 police officer costume? <\/p>\n\n\n\n And if it was such a one time joke, why did you park a Little Tykes\u00ae police car in my assigned space last week?<\/p>\n\n\n\n You said you bought me a Piglet plush doll because I loved the Winnie-the-Pooh books growing up. I\u2019ve never read Winnie-the-Pooh, and how would you even know if I did? We\u2019re male roommates. We only talk about three things: the game, did I Venmo you my part of the internet bill, Swiffers: do we need one and what do we do with it? We DO NOT talk about: our childhoods, feelings, and the first 10 minutes of Pixar\u2019s \u2018UP\u2019. Look, I\u2019m just going to settle this once and for all: I am a real cop. Would I have this unnecessarily heavy walkie-talkie if I wasn\u2019t a real cop?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Look at how big and heavy it is, it even has one of those microphone-speaker thingies with the long cord. What?<\/p>\n\n\n\n The coiled cord just evokes even more of the Piglet vibes that I\u2019m actively trying to shake?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019m not going to acknowledge that comment. Besides, would I have this super cool looking badge if I wasn\u2019t a real cop?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Why did I take Herschel Walker’s badge?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Very funny but I don\u2019t think so, see if you look up close it specifically says \u201cIndiana University Police*<\/strong>\u201d What?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Why did they engrave an asterisk on the badge?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n I don\u2019t see an asterisk. No, I\u2019m not going to flip it over. I don\u2019t need to flip it over- ok, yes, the back does say *<\/strong>: \u201cThis is not a real badge. If presented with this badge, please call the real police. If lost, return to 1469 E. 17th<\/sup><\/strong><\/span>\u201d Ok, but fine print schmine frint. If IUPD didn\u2019t see me as a real cop, do you think they would trust me to walk around the Wells stacks at least once per night? I don\u2019t think they\u2019d leave that task to a criminal justice major with 2.5 months of training at police summer camp-goddammit why did I call it that-ok, police academy that occurs during the summer that we just happen to sleep away at, in cabins. And no, we didn\u2019t have bunk beds, we also did not have a \u2018mess hall\u2019 that served sheet pan pizza and Bug Juice on Friday. They served them on Saturday. We\u2019re getting farther away from my point: so I might not have a gun, or arrest powers, or permission to ride in the front seat of the squad cars. But what I do have is a dangerous combination of implicit bias and an undeveloped prefrontal cortex, sorry, I meant to say that I have an oath, an oath to serve and protect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Say the whole thing?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/em>That was the whole thing, no don\u2019t pull up the full text online, OK-ok, the full oath is that \u2018I swear to serve and protect the upper floors of the East Tower on alternating weeknights and weekends twice a month, and to see that the traffic in the athletics lots is orderly on game days\u2019. I hope you\u2019re pleased with yourself. Now if you excuse me, I need to report to the station so I can pick up my patrol vehicle, save your breath, I am well aware that it\u2019s a bicycle.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" By: Your roommate Brett, an IUPD Cadet I\u2019ve had enough. Stop asking me to call 911 so a \u201creal police officer\u201d can show up. Stop telling your friends I\u2019m majoring […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2727,"featured_media":1694,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/flipside_cadetoped_ig.png?fit=1080%2C1080&ssl=1","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7b5Hd-ri","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1692"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2727"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1692"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1692\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1697,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1692\/revisions\/1697"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1694"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1692"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1692"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1692"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"Cadop-comp\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.ibb.co\/KsF1ZTM\/Cadop-comp.png?resize=370%2C244&ssl=1\")
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