By:\u00a0 Mike \u201cMC Grandmaster DJ Kool\u201d Jones<\/p>\n
Following another busy rush season, sporting goods manufacturers have been unable to\u00a0keep up with the constant demand of oversized sports jerseys.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s like sooo tragic, what will we\u00a0wear to parties? How will we show the frat boys how much we love sports? Boys love when\u00a0their girl gets excited when the team hits a touchdown!\u201d cried local senior Ashley Madison.\u00a0Madison, a junior in Omega Mu Gamma Sorority, and countless others are coping with what is\u00a0surely the most devastating crisis since the flower crown shortage of 2008.<\/p>\n
This tragedy comes\u00a0just in time for a busy party season, and sororities have already taken emergency measures to\u00a0adjust. Some have suggested, however, that it may already be too late. The local Dick\u2019s\u00a0Sporting Goods was looted as would-be partiers engulfed the store looking for the last supply of\u00a0defect jerseys. The rioting continued around College Mall as girls donning charred and torn\u00a0Robert Griffin III jerseys burned everything in their paths. At the same time, a contingent of girls\u00a0stormed Assembly Hall in a misguided attempt to steal the players\u2019 uniforms. With the Indiana\u00a0National Guard standing by, IU President Michael McRobbie suggested girls should utilize the\u00a0used jersey section at the local Goodwill. When asked about the solutions, Madison simply\u00a0said, \u201cGross,\u201d as she pulled the jersey off of a dead Yogi Ferrell.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
By:\u00a0 Mike \u201cMC Grandmaster DJ Kool\u201d Jones Following another busy rush season, sporting goods manufacturers have been unable to\u00a0keep up with the constant demand of oversized sports jerseys. \u201cIt\u2019s like […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":278,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[2,144],"tags":[146,52,158,73,157],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/Sorority-Jersey-Article-Picture-2.jpg?fit=1944%2C1296&ssl=1","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7b5Hd-4t","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/277"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=277"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/277\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":282,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/277\/revisions\/282"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/278"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=277"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=277"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=277"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}