By:\u00a0Jacopo Inboden<\/p>\n
BLOOMINGTON, IN —\u00a0Last Thursday, Foster RA Peter Johnson was shocked to find that his dorm floor\u2019s whiteboard went a full 45 seconds without being covered in drawings of hairy, ejaculating penises.<\/p>\n
Johnson told Flipside reporters, \u201cI wiped off the board, took a piss, and when I came back it was absolutely clear! It had been at least 45 seconds, maybe even a full minute!\u201d Johnson exclaimed. He went on to explain that the typical time it takes between cleaning off his dorm\u2019s whiteboard and the appearance of a flurry of throbbing cocks is anywhere between 10 and 15 seconds.He continued, \u201cI don\u2019t even know how they do it.\u00a0 I mean, these guys seem to barely ever leave their dorm rooms as it is, but somehow, when it comes to drawing veiny meat slabs on my whiteboard, they\u2019re relentless.\u201d<\/p>\n
After having discovered he still had a blank board to write on, Johnson returned to his room and retrieved a marker so he could write an announcement about the floor\u2019s upcoming game night. Upon his return, he was disappointed to discover that the board had been entirely covered with drawings of bulging erections.<\/p>\n
Defeated, Johnson grabbed his eraser and attempted to remove the dozen or so weiners which had been crudely drawn all over his board. However, no matter how hard he pressed, the collage of phalli refused to budge.<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t believe it!” He exclaimed, “Those fuckers actually used a Sharpie!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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