By: Wendell Jeff<\/p>\n
When my fine-ass fifth grade teacher, Mr. McMichael, brought a police officer into my class at Colonel Richard Johnson Middle School, I assumed he was just fed up dealing with pre-pubescent classes of walking hormones and had had one too many martinis last night.<\/p>\n
Little did I know that this cop, a Sylvester Stallone looking motherfucker, would launch into full-blown brutality on the effects of drugs, utilizing grotesque pictures of human brains looking like Swiss cheese. His biggest point was to \u201cJust say NO\u201d to the groups of people with frosted tips and chain wallets who will definitely be trying to get me high. If you\u2019re like me, you look back on the years of Drug Abuse Resistance Education as a fumbling attempt at real-world training in public school.<\/p>\n
While the DARE propaganda may or may not have played a role in stopping my fifth grade class from becoming the hardened meth addicts that Satan wanted us to be, it painted an entirely unrealistic picture of the availability of drugs once I reached college. Gone are the days of pimply redhead kids jumping from the shadows to offer me free mind-altering substances I experienced during high school. I could have been hooked on five different pills by sophomore year with that kind of service? But now, as a junior at Indiana University, I have yet to receive them for free.<\/p>\n
This modern era has cultivated a generation of greedy bastards who hoard their drugs for themselves. I had to ask my best friend\u2019s ex-cousin\u2019s ex-wife\u2019s niece for the email of a person who gave me the number of someone who MIGHT have LSD. I\u2019m getting really tired of having to ask for weed, let alone pay for it. I can\u2019t even walk down my street these days without wondering, \u201cWhere did all the drug peddlers go?\u201d or \u201cWhere is my free cocaine?\u201d I mean, is this what Snoop Dogg would\u2019ve wanted?<\/p>\n
Because of my experience, I\u2019m now on a personal, soul-searching mission to end this cycle of abuse to our nation\u2019s youth \u2013 one impressionable 11-year old at a time.<\/p>\n
Now, who wants some free crack?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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