By: Bismo Falcor<\/p>\n
Following the high influx of students whose mental health has been destroyed by stress, Indiana University\u2019s Counseling and Psychological Services has announced it will be simply handing out weed, instead of offering full scale counseling sessions.<\/p>\n
\u201cOur number one priority is to give every student the support they need, and right now, this is our only option. We simply don\u2019t have the time to counsel every single student who needs help,\u201d said Helen Wilson, head of CAPS. She continued, \u201cWe know it\u2019s not necessarily legal, and we know we technically shouldn\u2019t \u2018condone\u2019 it, but for many people it really helps. I mean, hell, smoking is the only reason I’ve made it through this mess.”<\/p>\n
Since the decision was made late last night, students have been responding very positively, including ICORE student Tristian Ripley who stated, \u201cThe combination of my soulless classes, my demanding extracurricular activities, and, of course, the results of yesterday’s elections, I realized that the only answer was to turn to CAPS.” He continued, breathing a sigh of relief, “I’m really looking forward to the new initiative. I think it’d be pretty cool to just gather together and pass around a joint the size of a drainage pipe.”<\/p>\n
When asked whether this would continue to be a viable option for the next four years, Wilson replied, \u201cHey, California just legalized it, how bad could it be?\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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This phenomenon has been attributed to the rapidly increasing number of students choosing to discontinue their education at the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Education"","block_context":{"text":"Education","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/education\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/depressed-college-student.jpg?fit=1000%2C667&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/depressed-college-student.jpg?fit=1000%2C667&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/depressed-college-student.jpg?fit=1000%2C667&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/depressed-college-student.jpg?fit=1000%2C667&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":432,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2016\/10\/25\/area-student-loses-virginity-to-20-page-essay-on-antidisestablishmentarianism\/","url_meta":{"origin":485,"position":1},"title":"Area Student Loses Virginity to 20-Page Essay on Antidisestablishmentarianism","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"October 25, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Voidius Black Following a period of intense procrastination this past week, Indiana University freshman Mason Briggs lost his virginity to a 20-page paper on Antidisestablishmentarianism. \u201cI can\u2019t believe how hard that paper screwed me,\u201d Briggs told reporters. \u201cI knew it was going to be due Wednesday, and that procrastinating\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Local"","block_context":{"text":"Local","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/local\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/14877300_1241829665860047_863109860_n.jpg?fit=720%2C960&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/14877300_1241829665860047_863109860_n.jpg?fit=720%2C960&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/14877300_1241829665860047_863109860_n.jpg?fit=720%2C960&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/14877300_1241829665860047_863109860_n.jpg?fit=720%2C960&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1046,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2018\/03\/27\/the-2018-iusa-circlejerk-whos-gonna-come-first\/","url_meta":{"origin":485,"position":2},"title":"The 2018 IUSA Circlejerk: Who’s Gonna Come First?","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"March 27, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Jake Spear It\u2019s election day at IU, and that means it's time to get out and vote for one of 3 nearly identical tickets who just want to pad their resumes so they can get into law school. To help make your meaningless decision, here\u2019s Flipside\u2019s guide to the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Education"","block_context":{"text":"Education","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/education\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/29547465_1673763116011421_243663374_n.jpg?fit=960%2C960&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/29547465_1673763116011421_243663374_n.jpg?fit=960%2C960&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/29547465_1673763116011421_243663374_n.jpg?fit=960%2C960&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/29547465_1673763116011421_243663374_n.jpg?fit=960%2C960&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1232,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2018\/10\/03\/exposed-singing-is-just-slow-talking-and-other-things-jacobs-students-dont-want-you-to-know\/","url_meta":{"origin":485,"position":3},"title":"EXPOSED: “Singing Is Just Slow Talking” and Other Things Jacob’s Students Don’t Want You To Know","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"October 3, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"By Litwig Kanyetoven It's actually pronounced \"Clarineet\" - This one separates the Jacobs kids from the rest of the campus. 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