By: Jonathan Pollock<\/p>\n
BLOOMINGTON, IN — Long known as the bus that \u2018conveniently\u2019 serves those who live south of Indiana University\u2019s illustrious campus, today, each and every person who claims to take the 7 Express line bus on a regular basis swore that they just missed it.
\n\u201cWell, you know, they only have like two buses that run at a time, sometimes just one, so the wait can really suck,\u201d said J. A. Lopy, a junior. \u201cBut if you just look at DoubleMap\u2026 wait a minute, isn\u2019t that where we are? And it\u2019s going down 3rd Street now? Fuck, I just missed it!\u201d
\nThe line, which is \u201cexpress\u201d in name only, consistently eludes photographic or video evidence of its existence. Oftentimes, students who access their phones at a 3rd Street bus stop will feel a rush of wind, hear the roar of the engine, and, before they can whip out their ID\u2019s or take a picture, will see a large, yellow bus symbol pass over their screen.
\n\u201cI was walking over to the bus stop where I thought I saw a 7 stopped at the sidewalk,\u201d said Otto Mo Beele as his face glowed bright red in righteous indignation. \u201cI rushed over to catch it, but the doors closed. I swear the driver turned around and winked at me right before it just disappeared–like Harry Potter or some shit like that.\u201d
\nIn order to better understand the scope of the issue, Flipside spoke with Dr. Gaas \u201cClunker\u201d Guzzler, an expert on the occult in American society as it relates to transportation.
\n\u201cA light whir on the breeze. A white and green flash in the distance. All traces, as fleeting as they are frustrating, confound the senses and further the myth of: the 7 bus. Sightings of it often foretell a long walk home and times of great disappointment for those who see the bus.\u201d
\nWhen asked for a comment, Bloomington Transit stated that the 7 Express line had been shut down over five years ago.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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