By: Mac E. Velli<\/p>\n
SILICON VALLEY, CA – At last Tuesday\u2019s convention on the future of the phallic photo industry, three-dimensional printing technology took center stage. Commanding the most attention at the event was Leon Crust, technology giant and founder of Fapchat.<\/p>\n
\n\u201cOur 3D printing capabilities have ushered in a new era of dong snaps that will change the paradigm of our society,\u201d Crust boldly announced while sporting a solid black turtleneck and jeans. \u201cBeing the founder of the most popular dickture-based mobile app, I\u2019ve sought to improve the experience that this sacred mating ritual brings us. We have combined cutting edge 3D printing with our app, so your partner can now create a 3D printed version of your throbbing beef whistle. Imagine the anticipation of millions of college students as they print successive layers of pseudo-plastic schlong meat for hours on end, until they are finally left with a BPA-infused reminder of their partner’s affection!\u201d<\/p>\n
\nAt press time, Crust explained some of the printer’s additional features, such as the adding of an “unkempt pubic hair” option and the ability to squirt cum in your loved one’s eye: “to keep the experience as realistic as possible.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
By: Mac E. Velli SILICON VALLEY, CA – At last Tuesday\u2019s convention on the future of the phallic photo industry, three-dimensional printing technology took center stage. Commanding the most attention […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":631,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[145,4],"tags":[297,298,255,257],"class_list":["post-630","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-business","category-science-technology","tag-3d-printing","tag-future","tag-science","tag-technology","has_thumb"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/brads_dick.jpg?fit=534%2C606&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7b5Hd-aa","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":732,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2017\/04\/03\/bloomington-tech-park-to-automate-eviction-notices-for-priced-out-renters\/","url_meta":{"origin":630,"position":0},"title":"Bloomington Tech Park to Automate Eviction Notices for Priced Out Renters","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"April 3, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Mack E. Velli Bloomington, IN \u2013 Bloomington business leaders and city council members celebrated last night after greenlighting a plan to create an automated system for efficiently dealing out eviction notices to those who will be priced out of their neighborhood due to being located near Bloomington\u2019s upcoming Certified\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Local"","block_context":{"text":"Local","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/local\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/bloomington2.jpg?fit=960%2C515&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/bloomington2.jpg?fit=960%2C515&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/bloomington2.jpg?fit=960%2C515&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/bloomington2.jpg?fit=960%2C515&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1310,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2018\/11\/26\/breaking-tinder-to-release-new-app-to-set-up-arranged-marriages\/","url_meta":{"origin":630,"position":1},"title":"BREAKING: Tinder to Release New App to Set Up Arranged Marriages","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"November 26, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Naluesh\u00a0Ho & Jake Spear LOS ANGELES, CA \u2013\u00a0Trying to appeal to a new demographic, Tinder has decided to culturally appropriate the Indian subcontinent with their new app for facilitating arranged marriage: Tindarrange. 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