{"id":73,"date":"2015-08-20T14:34:17","date_gmt":"2015-08-20T14:34:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.wordpress.com\/?p=73"},"modified":"2016-01-14T19:25:39","modified_gmt":"2016-01-14T19:25:39","slug":"fda-amends-blood-drive-deferral-for-satans-sexually-sickening-sodomites","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2015\/08\/20\/fda-amends-blood-drive-deferral-for-satans-sexually-sickening-sodomites\/","title":{"rendered":"FDA Amends Blood Drive Deferral for Satan&#8217;s Sexually Sickening Sodomites"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: center;\">By: Constance T. Nopel<\/p>\n<p>Sequin-sexuals have rejoiced in the FDA\u2019s announcement to amend its lifetime blood donation deferral for men who have had sex with other men. In response to the widespread criticism from LGTBQ protest groups, the FDA now strongly encourages sexually active gay and bisexual men to donate the entirety of their blood supply to an innovative organization created specifically for handling their ferric fruit juice: the Blood Incorporation for Gay-Oriented Tolerance. Within this valiant corporation, volunteers fervently work to drain the nation of its the seemingly unending supply of satanic homo-nectar.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHere at the Blood Incorporation for Gay-Oriented Tolerance, we work tirelessly to rid the world of famine, poverty, corporate greed, and homosexual clusterfuckery,\u201d an anonymous volunteer writes. \u201cSince all queers have AIDS and thousands of sexual partners, I refuse to have the blood of a homosexual pump through my majestic man-snake as I savagely dominate my wife.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>As gay and bisexual men are all scientifically proven to be depraved, concupiscent creatures rife with infectious disease, the B.I.G.O.T. assures its clients of an FDA-approved process to properly cleanse and dispose of the tainted male blood. Workers describe the purgative process to involve the synthetic compound PD 404, holy water, and an autographed picture of Mitt Romney.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By: Constance T. Nopel Sequin-sexuals have rejoiced in the FDA\u2019s announcement to amend its lifetime blood donation deferral for men who have had sex with other men. In response to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":125,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[145,3,4],"tags":[15,16,17,18,41,64,69],"class_list":["post-73","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-business","category-politics","category-science-technology","tag-bigotry","tag-bisexual-men","tag-blood-donation","tag-blood-drive","tag-fda","tag-lgbt","tag-mitt-romney","has_thumb"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/hailgaysatan1.png?fit=1578%2C874&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7b5Hd-1b","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1021,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2018\/03\/06\/breaking-student-running-cockfighting-ring-out-of-dorm-room-cites-loophole-in-roommate-agreement\/","url_meta":{"origin":73,"position":0},"title":"BREAKING: Student Running Cockfighting Ring Out of Dorm Room Cites Loophole in Roommate Agreement","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"March 6, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Cleetus Haversham BLOOMINGTON-- Following the trail of blood and feathers leading from Gresham Dining Hall to the Foster Hall B Tower, Bloomington PD recently apprehended freshman Justin Stevens, for operating a cockfighting ring in his dorm room. BPD was forced to ultimately release Stevens without charges after he pointed\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Entertainment&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Entertainment","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/entertainment\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cockfighting_rig.jpg?fit=1080%2C719&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cockfighting_rig.jpg?fit=1080%2C719&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cockfighting_rig.jpg?fit=1080%2C719&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cockfighting_rig.jpg?fit=1080%2C719&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/cockfighting_rig.jpg?fit=1080%2C719&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1227,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2018\/10\/01\/guide-what-pizza-you-should-order-based-on-your-blood-alcohol-content\/","url_meta":{"origin":73,"position":1},"title":"GUIDE: What Pizza You Should Order Based on Your Blood Alcohol Content","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"October 1, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Jack Peebis So, you drank a few too many, and now you need a pizza before you \"literally\" die from starvation? We\u2019ve all been there. As experts in terrible life decisions, we here at Flipside have the perfect formula for determining exactly what pizza you need! So grab a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Local&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Local","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/local\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/b.a.c._pizza.jpg?fit=710%2C473&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/b.a.c._pizza.jpg?fit=710%2C473&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/b.a.c._pizza.jpg?fit=710%2C473&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/b.a.c._pizza.jpg?fit=710%2C473&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":214,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2015\/10\/12\/post-apocalyptic-area-woman-still-maintains-beauty-regimen\/","url_meta":{"origin":73,"position":2},"title":"Post-Apocalyptic Area Woman Still Maintains Beauty Regimen","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"October 12, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Constance T. Nopel BARREN WASTELAND, EARTH\u2014 Elated upon discovering a still usable, pink Gillette razor under the radioactive rubble of Washington Monument, area woman Jane Shales told reporters she was overjoyed she would no longer have to shave her legs with her blood-coated katana. \u201cIt was such a hassle\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Local&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Local","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/local\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/sexy_apocalypse-jpg.png?fit=700%2C1050&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/sexy_apocalypse-jpg.png?fit=700%2C1050&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/sexy_apocalypse-jpg.png?fit=700%2C1050&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/sexy_apocalypse-jpg.png?fit=700%2C1050&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1527,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2019\/04\/21\/things-you-should-definitely-hide-in-easter-eggs-instead-of-candy\/","url_meta":{"origin":73,"position":3},"title":"Things You Should Definitely Hide In Easter Eggs Instead of Candy","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"April 21, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"By Robbie McMichael, Flipside Staff 1,000 ants: Every child loves an ant farm, but in 2019, the glass walls seem oppressive. Call them free-range ants. Several, smaller Easter eggs: Keep your little cousins guessing in which egg chocolate is going to be found. The answer is none of them! A\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Entertainment&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Entertainment","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/entertainment\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/easter-egg-hunt.jpg?fit=1000%2C667&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/easter-egg-hunt.jpg?fit=1000%2C667&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/easter-egg-hunt.jpg?fit=1000%2C667&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/easter-egg-hunt.jpg?fit=1000%2C667&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":223,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2015\/10\/23\/victim-of-cannibalism-asking-for-it-by-looking-tasty\/","url_meta":{"origin":73,"position":4},"title":"Victim of Cannibalism \u201cAsking for It\u201d by Looking Tasty","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"October 23, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Penny C. Bubblegum A young man in a white tank top that was consumed last night at a house party is now being accused (post-mortem) of causing his own demise from over-applying AXE body spray, commonly known to entice the\u00a0cannibal\u00a0communities. 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He just proclaimed that if he had a time machine, he would use it to kill one of the referee\u2019s distant ancestors. Oh, crap\u2026. Did he just apply eye black? Someone needs to stop him now. You decide to step in,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Local&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Local","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/local\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/flag-football-5.jpg?fit=960%2C640&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/flag-football-5.jpg?fit=960%2C640&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/flag-football-5.jpg?fit=960%2C640&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/flag-football-5.jpg?fit=960%2C640&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/73","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=73"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/73\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":254,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/73\/revisions\/254"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/125"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=73"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=73"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=73"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}