By: Bismo Falcor<\/p>\n
Rising tensions between North Korea and the entire rest of the world came to a head yesterday after the lonesome nation momentarily invaded its southern neighbor in order to retrieve their Glorious Leader\u2019s lost soccer ball. Un was playing with some local children, who had been bred specifically to fulfill this purpose, when he reportedly kicked the ball over 800 feet in the air, easily clearing the electrified fence which separates the two countries.<\/p>\n
“His kick went very high,” said soccer playing child number 3. “I thought it would touch the moon, but then it didn’t, and fell back down. I was excited to keep playing, but the ball landed on the evil side of the fence. I was very sad, but then Glorious Leader promised me that he will do everything he can to get the ball back for us.” Following the brief invasion to retrieve the kick, South Korean local Kim Sun described the efforts to retrieve the ball.<\/p>\n
“There were about 20 tanks and well over 100 servicemen,” Sun murmured in disbelief. “They plowed through my fence, stomped across my garden, and then stopped short of a small children’s soccer ball which one of them bent to pick up. He then promptly handed the ball to his commander, they all spun on their heels, and immediately returned to North Korea.”<\/p>\n
Sources have since confirmed that the soldier who found the ball was later executed by his platoon leader for not shedding tears before placing his hands on one of the Glorious Leader’s possessions.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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