{"id":780,"date":"2017-08-23T13:27:57","date_gmt":"2017-08-23T13:27:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/?p=780"},"modified":"2017-08-23T13:27:57","modified_gmt":"2017-08-23T13:27:57","slug":"overachiever-turns-in-final-paper-on-second-day-of-class","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2017\/08\/23\/overachiever-turns-in-final-paper-on-second-day-of-class\/","title":{"rendered":"Overachiever Turns in Final Paper on Second Day of Class"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: center;\">By: Joe King and\u00a0Barry Vile<\/p>\n<p>BLOOMINGTON, IN &#8211; Indiana University freshman and former high school try-hard T. Churspet has already submitted the final paper for his ENG-W131 (English Composition) class on just the second day.<\/p>\n<p>The student remarked that he would have turned in the paper on the first day, but &#8220;the syllabus didn&#8217;t specify which font size was appropriate.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The whole event has caused disturbance among the professors in the English department who are completely shocked that a mere freshmen was able to compose a functional five-page paper without completing the aforementioned 16-week course on paragraph transition wording.<\/p>\n<p>Upon further investigation however, it appeared that T. Churspet had merely submitted a duplicate of his Purdue application essay.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By: Joe King and\u00a0Barry Vile BLOOMINGTON, IN &#8211; Indiana University freshman and former high school try-hard T. Churspet has already submitted the final paper for his ENG-W131 (English Composition) class [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":781,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[299],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-780","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-education","has_thumb"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/August22_18.jpg?fit=509%2C339&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7b5Hd-cA","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1008,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2018\/02\/28\/15-great-ways-to-boost-your-essays-word-count\/","url_meta":{"origin":780,"position":0},"title":"15 Great Ways to Boost your Essay&#8217;s Word Count!","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"February 28, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Flipside Staff Midterms are upon us, and for many of us, that will mean writing long essays. We here at the Flipside understand it can sometimes be challenging to find those final 1500 words to round out the paper, so here are Flipside's tips for boosting your word count!\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Education&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Education","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/education\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/28555338_1868383706536823_957668730_o.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/28555338_1868383706536823_957668730_o.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/28555338_1868383706536823_957668730_o.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/28555338_1868383706536823_957668730_o.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/28555338_1868383706536823_957668730_o.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1531,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2019\/04\/22\/indiana-university-announces-plan-to-reanimate-1830s-inaugural-class-for-bicentennial-celebration\/","url_meta":{"origin":780,"position":1},"title":"Indiana University Announces Plan to Reanimate 1830s Inaugural Class for Bicentennial Celebration","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"April 22, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Barry Vile, Flipside Staff Indiana University president Michael McRobbie recently announced plans to bring the entire Indiana University class of 1830 back to life for the school's 200th anniversary. \"It's incredible to think that we'll have the opportunity to have a firsthand account of the university from almost 200\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Local&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Local","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/local\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/inaugural_class.jpg?fit=750%2C458&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/inaugural_class.jpg?fit=750%2C458&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/inaugural_class.jpg?fit=750%2C458&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/inaugural_class.jpg?fit=750%2C458&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":979,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2018\/01\/30\/9-signs-your-professor-decided-to-fail-you-on-day-1\/","url_meta":{"origin":780,"position":2},"title":"9 Signs Your Professor Decided to Fail You on Day 1","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"January 30, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"He Continuously Mispronounces Your Name as \u201cFuckhole McGee\u201d If he does it once, you know it\u2019s not a big deal. Everyone struggles with names, especially in the beginning of the semester. But, if he\u2019s calling you Fuckhole McGee every time? You might as well drop the class and take the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Education&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Education","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/education\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/dunce.jpg?fit=419%2C280&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1218,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2018\/09\/28\/progress-iu-english-department-to-teach-grammatically-correct-forms-of-yeet\/","url_meta":{"origin":780,"position":3},"title":"BREAKING: IU English Department to Teach Grammatically-Correct Forms of &#8220;Yeet&#8221;","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"September 28, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Boxxer Brief BLOOMINGTON, IN--IU's English Department rule last week that with \"yeet\" finding its way into everyday vernacular, college of arts and science students should be taught the grammatically correct forms of \"yeet\". This progressive move comes as a surprise after last year' \"whomsier\" initiative was yeeted. \"I believe\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Education&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Education","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/education\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/yeet.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/yeet.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/yeet.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/yeet.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/yeet.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":432,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2016\/10\/25\/area-student-loses-virginity-to-20-page-essay-on-antidisestablishmentarianism\/","url_meta":{"origin":780,"position":4},"title":"Area Student Loses Virginity to 20-Page Essay on Antidisestablishmentarianism","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"October 25, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Voidius Black Following a period of intense procrastination this past week, Indiana University freshman Mason Briggs lost his virginity to a 20-page paper on Antidisestablishmentarianism. \u201cI can\u2019t believe how hard that paper screwed me,\u201d Briggs told reporters. \u201cI knew it was going to be due Wednesday, and that procrastinating\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Local&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Local","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/local\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/14877300_1241829665860047_863109860_n.jpg?fit=720%2C960&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/14877300_1241829665860047_863109860_n.jpg?fit=720%2C960&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/14877300_1241829665860047_863109860_n.jpg?fit=720%2C960&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/14877300_1241829665860047_863109860_n.jpg?fit=720%2C960&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1089,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2018\/04\/13\/8-places-i-wish-i-hadnt-seen-my-professor-outside-of-class\/","url_meta":{"origin":780,"position":5},"title":"8 Places I Wish I Hadn&#8217;t Seen My Professor Outside of Class","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"April 13, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"By Ariel Gold\u00a0and Bismo Falcor At CVS It\u2019s always so weird to see your professors outside of class, but they\u2019re people too. They need their poptarts and toilet paper like everyone else. Barnes and Noble I guess it\u2019s kind of odd that I just saw him at CVS a couple\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Education&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Education","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/education\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/cvs2.jpg?fit=1024%2C538&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/cvs2.jpg?fit=1024%2C538&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/cvs2.jpg?fit=1024%2C538&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/cvs2.jpg?fit=1024%2C538&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/780","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=780"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/780\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":782,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/780\/revisions\/782"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/781"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=780"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=780"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=780"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}