{"id":805,"date":"2017-09-21T16:02:52","date_gmt":"2017-09-21T16:02:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/?p=805"},"modified":"2017-09-21T16:45:25","modified_gmt":"2017-09-21T16:45:25","slug":"top-14-features-of-the-iphone-x","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2017\/09\/21\/top-14-features-of-the-iphone-x\/","title":{"rendered":"Top 14 Features of the iPhone X"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s finally here! The phone we’ve all been waiting for since the last time we got a phone with marginally better features! Check out our list below of features that we are most excited about, and let us know your favorites!<\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n

1. Disposable<\/strong>. Once it’s out of battery, throw it in the trash.<\/p>\n

2. Dick Pic Recognition.<\/strong> Try not to get a boner, or it might not recognize you.<\/p>\n

3. Toe Print Scanner.<\/strong> For when whipping it out just isn’t plausible.<\/p>\n

4.\u00a0Siri.<\/strong> This time, she appreciates your supernatural fanfic.<\/p>\n

5. Auto-Remove Extra Chins.<\/strong> Chin up, your selfies will look a lot better.<\/p>\n

6. U2’s Entire Discography.<\/strong> If you didn’t like one album, there’s bound to be something you like.<\/p>\n

7. Crack-Proof Screen.<\/strong>\u00a0No, like actually this time.<\/p>\n

8. Built-in Vape.<\/strong> You’ll be ready for vape nationals in no time.<\/p>\n

9. Fidget Spinner.<\/strong> You’ll be the coolest middle-schooler on the block.<\/p>\n

10. Fits Perfectly in your Mouth.<\/strong> Much like a dick.<\/p>\n

11. Microwave Safe.<\/strong> You might not be safe from nuking, but your phone is.<\/p>\n

12. Private Mode Opens Pornhub<\/strong>. Because you’re not using it to check stocks.<\/p>\n

13. Available in Rose Gold.<\/strong> The one color you couldn’t find at Lowes.<\/p>\n

14. Artisanally hand-crafted by sweatshop orphans.\u00a0<\/strong>Finally, no more of that assembly line bullshit.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s finally here! The phone we’ve all been waiting for since the last time we got a phone with marginally better features! Check out our list below of features that […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":806,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[145,4],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/apple-091217-iphone-8-3868.jpg?fit=830%2C467&ssl=1","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7b5Hd-cZ","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/805"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=805"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/805\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":810,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/805\/revisions\/810"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/806"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=805"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=805"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=805"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}