{"id":805,"date":"2017-09-21T16:02:52","date_gmt":"2017-09-21T16:02:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/?p=805"},"modified":"2017-09-21T16:45:25","modified_gmt":"2017-09-21T16:45:25","slug":"top-14-features-of-the-iphone-x","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2017\/09\/21\/top-14-features-of-the-iphone-x\/","title":{"rendered":"Top 14 Features of the iPhone X"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s finally here! The phone we&#8217;ve all been waiting for since the last time we got a phone with marginally better features! Check out our list below of features that we are most excited about, and let us know your favorites!<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>1. <strong>Disposable<\/strong>. Once it&#8217;s out of battery, throw it in the trash.<\/p>\n<p>2. <strong>Dick Pic Recognition.<\/strong> Try not to get a boner, or it might not recognize you.<\/p>\n<p>3. <strong>Toe Print Scanner.<\/strong> For when whipping it out just isn&#8217;t plausible.<\/p>\n<p>4.\u00a0<strong>Siri.<\/strong> This time, she appreciates your supernatural fanfic.<\/p>\n<p>5. <strong>Auto-Remove Extra Chins.<\/strong> Chin up, your selfies will look a lot better.<\/p>\n<p>6. <strong>U2&#8217;s Entire Discography.<\/strong> If you didn&#8217;t like one album, there&#8217;s bound to be something you like.<\/p>\n<p>7. <strong>Crack-Proof Screen.<\/strong>\u00a0No, like actually this time.<\/p>\n<p>8. <strong>Built-in Vape.<\/strong> You&#8217;ll be ready for vape nationals in no time.<\/p>\n<p>9.<strong> Fidget Spinner.<\/strong> You&#8217;ll be the coolest middle-schooler on the block.<\/p>\n<p>10. <strong>Fits Perfectly in your Mouth.<\/strong> Much like a dick.<\/p>\n<p>11.<strong> Microwave Safe.<\/strong> You might not be safe from nuking, but your phone is.<\/p>\n<p>12. <strong>Private Mode Opens Pornhub<\/strong>. Because you&#8217;re not using it to check stocks.<\/p>\n<p>13. <strong>Available in Rose Gold.<\/strong> The one color you couldn&#8217;t find at Lowes.<\/p>\n<p>14. <strong>Artisanally hand-crafted by sweatshop orphans.\u00a0<\/strong>Finally, no more of that assembly line bullshit.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s finally here! The phone we&#8217;ve all been waiting for since the last time we got a phone with marginally better features! Check out our list below of features that [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":806,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[145,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-805","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-business","category-science-technology","has_thumb"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/apple-091217-iphone-8-3868.jpg?fit=830%2C467&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7b5Hd-cZ","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/805","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=805"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/805\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":810,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/805\/revisions\/810"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/806"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=805"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=805"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=805"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}