By: Gary Goldwater<\/p>\n
Brett is on another competition-induced rampage. He just proclaimed that if he had a time machine, he would use it to kill one of the referee\u2019s distant ancestors. Oh, crap\u2026. Did he just apply eye black? Someone needs to stop him now. You decide to step in, but what do you say? Well, here\u2019s four ways to remind Brett that it\u2019s just intramurals:<\/p>\n
1. Remind him of the last time he got out of hand<\/strong> 2. Use a limerick<\/strong> There once was a crazed dude named Brett<\/em> 3. Have a heart to heart<\/strong> 4. Activate his shock collar<\/strong> By: Gary Goldwater Brett is on another competition-induced rampage. He just proclaimed that if he had a time machine, he would use it to kill one of the referee\u2019s distant […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":828,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[2,144],"tags":[358,357,59],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/flag-football-5.jpg?fit=960%2C640&ssl=1","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7b5Hd-dl","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/827"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=827"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/827\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":831,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/827\/revisions\/831"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/828"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=827"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=827"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=827"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nRemind Brett of last season\u2019s meltdown, when he threw a cooler of Gatorade at a diabetic referee because he thought the referee was \u201cacting like a bitch\u201d because of low blood sugar. Nobody even knew how he found out the referee was diabetic. This time, if he gets bad enough, revoke his iPad privileges.<\/p>\n
\nBrett loves limericks. He isn\u2019t exactly well-versed in the art of poetry, but he does love it. If you get this right, he\u2019ll be too satisfied with your respect for structure, rhythm, and rhyme to be angry. You can use this one:<\/p>\n
\nAlways on the verge of regret<\/em>
\nWith deep-rooted rage<\/em>
\nLock him in a cage<\/em>
\nOr a federal cell he\u2019ll get.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nRemember that he\u2019s a human, not an animal. He is acting out like this for a reason. Take him aside, and let him vent about his father\u2019s emotional distance and highly conditional love. Tell him it will be okay, and remind him to just be himself.<\/p>\n
\nIf none of the previous methods work, you must resort to plan D. The man must be tamed. Besides, you paid good money for that shock collar, and you spent two hours convincing Brett that he\u2019s wearing it for a good reason. For the sake of the team, you are obligated to use it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"