{"id":877,"date":"2017-10-23T03:09:23","date_gmt":"2017-10-23T03:09:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/?p=877"},"modified":"2017-10-23T03:09:23","modified_gmt":"2017-10-23T03:09:23","slug":"open-letter-to-the-ids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2017\/10\/23\/open-letter-to-the-ids\/","title":{"rendered":"Open Letter to the IDS"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dear Indiana Daily Student,<\/p>\n

Recently you published a column titled \u201cKinsey Confidential answers a question about eating ejaculate<\/a>\u201d where the subject matter of eating one\u2019s own semen is discussed. Seeing that our newspapers are the two largest in their respective fields on the Indiana University campus, we at Hoosier Flipside believe that we should attempt to coexist. With that in mind, it is our belief that your article on the consumption of one\u2019s own semen, however useful, encroaches on our field of expertise that includes, but is not limited to: satire, fake news, meme culture and its vicious perpetuation, disgracing the good name of Indiana University, elementary flatulence, and all other jokes regarding bodily functions. In the cartel industry, this conflict would be described as \u201cstepping on our turf.\u201d We believe this \u201csemen consuming\u201d article is part of a larger issue that is your paper releasing more and more content that is increasingly ridiculous and\/or silly (our field.)<\/p>\n

Poaching our highly intellectual and sophisticated audience is a serious concern and we would like to retort by poaching your audience with a series of actual news that you were supposed to be covering in your time spent writing ridiculous and\/or silly content. We aren\u2019t entirely sure of what your paper is attempting to do, but we at Hoosier Flipside would like to recommend Us Weekly<\/em>, CNN<\/em>, or early 2000s hit television show The Soup<\/em> for guidance in going back into your own field of tabloids or whatever it is you were meant to write. Should you have any issues with this newfound agreement, please send them to our office located at<\/p>\n

Bryan Hall 200
\n107 S. Indiana Ave.
\nBloomington, IN 47405<\/p>\n

where we we will take them into full consideration.<\/p>\n

Sincerely,
\nHoosier Flipside<\/p>\n

P.S. Many of our staff found your article very helpful and would like to thank you for your efforts.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Indiana Daily Student, Recently you published a column titled \u201cKinsey Confidential answers a question about eating ejaculate\u201d where the subject matter of eating one\u2019s own semen is discussed. Seeing […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":878,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-877","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-local","category-politics","has_thumb"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/image.png?fit=1895%2C555&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7b5Hd-e9","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/877","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=877"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/877\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":881,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/877\/revisions\/881"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/878"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=877"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=877"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=877"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}