By:\u00a0Mack E. Velli<\/p>\n
Bloomington, IN – The student masses in Professor Williams’ “Theory of Marx and Revolutionary History” seized the means of education today after a long struggle with the professor on the allocation of grades and horrible homework conditions. Soon after Professor Williams was disposed from the lectern, students in his class spread their revolutionary spirit throughout the rest of Woodburn Hall, prompting a quick takeover and fortification of the building. Reporters from the Hoosier Flipside were sent to the area where they were greeted by a spokesperson of the new “United Students Liberation Front.”<\/p>\n
“We the students, keep this education industrial complex running through our coffee, ink, and tears,” declared the spokesperson, who wishes to remain anonymous. “But today, we are not propagating the system that in-debts us for a piece of paper. No longer will we tolerate multiple midterms back to back. No longer will we attend boring mandatory lectures by bad teachers. No longer will we suffer through sleep deprivation just to toil through homework that kills the passion we once had for our area of study. Today, the students of Indiana University will unite and stand in solidarity with one another.\u00a0I call upon students of all majors and programs, whether you study physics, informatics, business,\u00a0 or any other program that has enslaved you to the school. We call upon you to join us in taking back this university!”<\/p>\n
At press time, the United Students Liberation Front had seized Ballantine Hall and planned to turn it into a gulag for students who hoard pens and gum.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
By:\u00a0Mack E. Velli Bloomington, IN – The student masses in Professor Williams’ “Theory of Marx and Revolutionary History” seized the means of education today after a long struggle with the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":915,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[299],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-912","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-education","has_thumb"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/23548038_1726225650752630_1517650241_n.jpg?fit=564%2C270&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7b5Hd-eI","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":655,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2017\/02\/24\/iu-professor-begins-hosting-office-hours-at-kok\/","url_meta":{"origin":912,"position":0},"title":"IU Professor Begins Hosting Office Hours at KOK","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"February 24, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Robben DeCash BLOOMINGTON, IN \u2014 Flipside recently sent one of its reporters to Bloomington nightlife hub Kilroy\u2019s on Kirkwood, where it was discovered that IU Economics Professor Oliver Klosoff has begun holding office hours there in order to entice more students to attend. \u201cIt is pretty hard to see\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Education"","block_context":{"text":"Education","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/education\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/16933840_10212252217410406_1308709_n.jpg?fit=792%2C526&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/16933840_10212252217410406_1308709_n.jpg?fit=792%2C526&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/16933840_10212252217410406_1308709_n.jpg?fit=792%2C526&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/16933840_10212252217410406_1308709_n.jpg?fit=792%2C526&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1165,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2018\/09\/07\/breaking-newly-tenured-professor-glad-teaching-career-is-finally-over\/","url_meta":{"origin":912,"position":1},"title":"BREAKING: Newly-Tenured Professor Glad Teaching Career Is Finally Over","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"September 7, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Cleetus Haversham Bloomington, IN--Last Thursday, \"Intro to Astronomy\" students were greeted by their hungover, newly-tenured professor. Professor Wentz was dressed in a stained turtleneck he had been wearing the previous lesson, pink Crocs, khakis with an open fly, and, according to students in the front row, Minions-branded boxer-briefs. \"I've\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Education"","block_context":{"text":"Education","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/education\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/41323220_341472186422279_1370220543109758976_n.jpg?fit=1024%2C576&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/41323220_341472186422279_1370220543109758976_n.jpg?fit=1024%2C576&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/41323220_341472186422279_1370220543109758976_n.jpg?fit=1024%2C576&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/41323220_341472186422279_1370220543109758976_n.jpg?fit=1024%2C576&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1065,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2018\/04\/03\/breaking-brother-jed-awarded-associate-professor-status\/","url_meta":{"origin":912,"position":2},"title":"BREAKING: Brother Jed Awarded Associate Professor Status","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"April 3, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"By:\u00a0Robbie McMichael BLOOMINGTON, IN- Last Tuesday the Indiana University Department of Religious Studies hired campus preacher, Brother Jed, as an associate professor. Due to Brother Jed's controversial opinions, this appointment has drawn criticism from student groups, who cite their right to \"not be screamed at\" during class. Head of Religious\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Education"","block_context":{"text":"Education","link":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/category\/education\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/brother_jed-e1522774171442.jpg?fit=621%2C621&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/brother_jed-e1522774171442.jpg?fit=621%2C621&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/hoosierflipside.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/brother_jed-e1522774171442.jpg?fit=621%2C621&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1500,"url":"https:\/\/hoosierflipside.com\/index.php\/2019\/04\/02\/professor-brings-alexa-to-class-so-someone-will-finally-answer-his-questions\/","url_meta":{"origin":912,"position":3},"title":"Professor Brings Alexa to Class so Someone Will Finally Answer His Questions","author":"Hoosier Flipside","date":"April 2, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"By: Jimmy Christmas BLOOMINGTON, IN: Last Tuesday, a Tuesday like any other, Professor Thompson braced himself and asked a question to his lecture students. 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