By: Sutton Lee Seymour and Jonathan Pollock<\/p>\n
BOOMINGTON, IN – In light of the recent Interfraternity Council\u2019s prohibition of social events and alcohol circulation among Greek houses, dissatisfied members have\u00a0opened a 1920s-style speakeasy on the Wells library eighth-floor stacks. The operation was busted Wednesday night at 2:30 a.m. by IUPD after rumors had begun circulating that Skulls fraternity members had \u201ca real throwback\u201d planned.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m used to seeing the occasional pastel shirt-wearing guy with frockets coming in and out during finals week,\u201d said student library employee Sarah Hampton on the matter. \u201cBut when I see twenty men walk in wearing matching zootsuits and fedoras, I get a little suspicious.\u201d<\/p>\n
Inside the criminal haven, the bust yielded over a thousand bottles of hooch and bootleg Taaka, as well as one heartbroken Tri-Delt singing over a piano about how \u201cher man don\u2019t love her no more.\u201d<\/p>\n
Responding to the sounds of gramophones and bottles being broken over people\u2019s heads, IUPD officers were met at the stacks entrance by an underweight Skulls pledge who demanded the password.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe said \u2018swordfish,\u2019\u201d Officer Hopps knowingly told reporters. “It’s always swordfish.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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