By: Bismo Falcor<\/p>\n
BLOOMINGTON, IN — Last Tuesday, local Sophomore\u00a0Anna Henderson panicked in the middle of her history class, following the realization that she\u00a0was already 3 weeks behind in her readings.
\n\u201cI honestly have no idea how this happened,\u201d said Henderson taking the receipt out of her book. \u201cWe\u2019ve literally only had 3 classes so far, how is this even possible?\u201d
\nHer\u00a0classmates have been less than impressed with her performance in class discussion.
\n\u201cHonestly, I just don’t get why she can’t do the readings like the rest of us? She tries to keep up with discussion, but it’s obvious she’s barely 150 pages into the book.\u201d said classmate Joey Hoffman, who had the misfortune to be placed in same group as Henderson.<\/p>\n
Henderson, however, claims that she “looked at the syllabus a few times” and approached professor Ronald Terrance, hoping for an explanation.
\n“It appears Henderson is suffering from a common affliction that plagues students early in the semester. After years of watching them struggle, I’ve named this phenomenon. I call it ‘being fucking lazy\u2019. It’s truly tragic to see students fall victim to this ailment year after year.<\/p>\n
Following her diagnosis, Henderson stated “This is so embarrassing, I never want this to happen again.”
\nAt press time, she was found buying books for next semester to keep up with her\u00a0readings in future classes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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