Broke Student Found Doing Laundry in Jordan River
By: Barry Vile BLOOMINGTON, IN–Following a recent rainfall, freshman Zachary Raymond was found sitting on the grass adjacent to the Jordan River with a laundry basket and a washboard in…
IU Professor Begins Hosting Office Hours at KOK
By: Robben DeCash BLOOMINGTON, IN — Flipside recently sent one of its reporters to Bloomington nightlife hub Kilroy’s on Kirkwood, where it was discovered that IU Economics Professor Oliver Klosoff…
IU Now Offering Mansplaining as Second Language
By: Pink Freud BLOOMINGTON, IN -- Indiana University has just announced plans to begin offering the art of overly simplifying and talking down to other people as a second language…
Area Student Triggered After Discovering Forest Isn’t a Vegan LLC
BLOOMINGTON, IN - After visiting Woodland's food court for the first time, Collins resident Amanda Kentz was alarmed to find that, despite the name, the establishment did not serve 100…
Mythical 7 Bus Seen Dashing South of Campus
By: Jonathan Pollock BLOOMINGTON, IN -- Long known as the bus that ‘conveniently’ serves those who live south of Indiana University’s illustrious campus, today, each and every person who claims…
Chaos Ensues After Student Declares the Floor is Lava During Career Fair
By: Jacopo Inboden BLOOMINGTON, IN— Mayhem recently broke out at a Kelley School of Business Career Fair after an unidentified passerby declared that the floor was lava, making this the fifth…
Indiana University Announces Plans for Building Without Gaping Design Flaw
By: Jacopo Inboden BLOOMINGTON, IN - Indiana University has just announced plans for a new general studies building which will have absolutely zero rookie structural mistakes. "We are very excited,” University…
OP-Ed: I’m Pissed So Many People are Put in Jail Because It’s Ruining My Dating Prospects
By: Hermynn Bae Wells As I sit on Tinder for the fifteenth time today, contemplating the possibility of sleep, my fingers tremble with each swipe. The “New Match!” orange graphic…
Overworked Freshmen Inquire about Housing in Wells
By: Robben DeCash and Skell Eaton Following their first experience with the stressful nature of college finals, numerous freshmen have begun inquiring about taking up residency in the glass study…
OP-ED: Dabbing is Dangerous and Killing Youth
By: Barry Vile The day that I watched my 10-year-old brother get hit by a car while dabbing in a crosswalk is the day I realized that our country's youth…