By: Bismo Falcor and Justin TruBRO

BLOOMINGTON, IN – Following 6 consecutive losses on homecoming weekend, the Indiana University football team looks to add onto that impressive streak of disappointment during today’s game against University of Michigan. Despite the fact that Michigan has the nation’s top ranked defense, IU head coach Tom Allen feels confident after coming off of a shutout victory against football powerhouse Charleston Southern.

“I think that Michigan’s top tier front 7 will match up very well against our cardboard offensive line. The inability to seal off running lanes for Morgan Ellison and create a stable pocket for Peyton Ramsey will help pad the stat lines of premiere Michigan defenders such as Maurice Hurst, Mike McCray, and Chase Winovich.”

He continued, “To be honest, I think the honor of being able to play on the same field as the 17th ranked team in the country in and of itself is an incredible consolation prize. I just hope after the game there’s enough time for our players to run over and get Jim Harbaugh’s autograph.”

One of the fundamental keys to maintaining this historic homecoming losing streak has been consistently scheduling extremely talented teams to play against.

“We recognize that people travel in from all over the country for homecoming weekend, so we always want to make sure they can at least see one team play great football, even though it may not be ours,” said Fred Glass, IU athletic director. He continued, “We are actually trying to match up with Bama for next season.”

Yet, every year, fans continue to flock to the stadium in droves.

“I’ve flown all the way out to Bloomington for the past 50 years to see the homecoming football game,” said Chuck Washington, who graduated with the class of 1967.

“And just like every year, I know we’ll be treated to some beautiful garbage-time touchdowns on the radio as we’re on our way out of the city. It’s those little moments that make me proud to be an Indiana University football fan.”