Kelley Freshman Using LinkedIn as Dating Site
By: Aesthetic Danger
BLOOMINGTON,IN – After watching each member of his friend group enter long term relationships, and finding no success on Tinder, Kelley Freshman Chad McMahon developed the concept of using LinkedIn as a dating site. In an exclusive interview with McMahon, he explained that he had a hard time keeping a good school/life balance.
“As the semester wore on, I realized I was spending an average of 3 hours a day on Tinder, and another 4 more hours on Linkedin. It simply was just too much, and I was getting really overwhelmed. I figured, I’d might as well combine the two!” said McMahon.
McMahon later stated that the idea to combine online dating with professional networking came to him while he was sitting in Compass 1, where he was trained on the art of “not technically lying” about his skills and qualifications.
“I realized LinkedIn was just like Tinder, only with suits. You judge people by the photo, and the first 5 words of the bio,” he said as he studied the profile of a cute brunette working for a PR firm in Carmel.
In his interview with the Hoosier Flipside, McMahon described his step by step process:
“First you send her an invite to connect, be sure to also send her a message that contains a customized cover letter listing your height, weight, and penis size. If she accepts, you then send another message complementing her Microsoft Excel expertise, and asking how her latest internship allowed her to improve her verbal communication skills. Finally, if everything works out, you invite to your place where you show her your gold plated resume.”
At press time, McMahon was checking his profile to see if anyone had left a review on his performance in the sack.