By Chip MountGommery

BLOOMINGTON, IN – Following the much-anticipated end of the Greek social event ban, fraternities are doing their best to plan the perfect evening of team building and meditation for their newly reformed members.

“Yeah… it’s just all gonna be a vibe. We’re gonna meditate, apply herbal facemasks, and focus our chakras,” said Keith Willis as he sent one of his brothers a text of a cute kitten. “Hopefully it is a day we will never forget. I certainly want the intimate bonds forged today to carry on throughout the year” Many fraternities are encouraging team bonding through group activities, such as aligning their chakras and compliment circles.

“Hopefully the stars will smile on us and we can release some pent-up stress,” said recent pledge Derek Compton. “Our last group session was incredible. We got most of the guys to open up, and I even shed a couple tears. I’ve really been wanting to tell David how wonderful he is, and how much I enjoy him spotting me as I make those gains.”

Whether the brothers are discussing childhood traumas or engaging in trust-falls, tonight will be a much-needed rain-day. At press time, Fraternity president, Brett Hanson was found arranging a circle of chairs while browsing lotions on Amazon.