We’re getting to crunch time in the semester, and students are realizing that it might not have been the best idea to skip the first 9 classes. But don’t worry, all hope is not lost! Here are Flipside’s 7 tips to lobbying your professor to give you that extra credit assignment.
Pay for his meals in iBucks
We all know professors are grossly underpaid, and especially this guy. I mean, how much can a history professors make? This is a great way for you to show him how much you care. After all, everyone deserves to be able to eat at Bueno!
Offer him a discount on adderall
Let’s be real here. All the good adderall on campus is being wasted on the people who need it the least. Sure, students have heavy workloads and other stressors related to college, but professors have to handle grading hundreds of papers, while also publishing research on the side. By offering him a discount on your adderall, you’re not only getting extra credit opportunities, but you’re also helping build your small business at the same time.
Buy him a new tweed jacket
It’s becoming more and more obvious that he’s hit a rough patch, as he’s worn the same tweed jacket for the past 7 classes. Could it be due to the general stresses of academia, or is it something personal like family problems? Who knows, but you can always show him how much you care by buying him a new tweed jacket, and maybe he will return the favor in the gradebook!
Offer to mediate a fight with his adolescent daughter
Clearly, his problems are extend beyond the classroom. It’s obvious that so much of his energy is being sucked up by that little brat, Katrina. Granted, life probably isn’t easy for her since her parents are fighting so much. Show him how much you care by offering to mediate, validating her needs for a new My Little Pony, and comforting him in his inability to buy one for her.
Give him your Netflix password
Well, it’s bad enough that Martha left him, and took the kids with her, but we can all agree that changing the family Netflix account password maybe was a step too far. What else is he supposed to do now to occupy his time? Offer him your Netflix password. You will instantly become his favorite student, and the new season of Ice Road Truckers isn’t going to watch itself!
Give him a chili pepper on Rate my Professor
Clearly, his confidence has been lacking lately, but even just a single comment on rate my professor can make all the difference. He would be so grateful, that he would HAVE to offer you extra credit. In addition, it give him the confidence to get back out there, and try meeting new people! After all, Martha wasted no time in finding somebody else, why should he?
Start a GoFundMe to help him make his child support payments
You can tell life has been rough for him ever since Martha started sleeping with his identical twin brother, and he now has another set of bills he has to pay. Not only do you want your extra credit, you want your professor back on his feet! You’re a millennial; use your internet skills to start a GoFundMe, and maybe, he won’t have to pick up a side job working for RPS!
We’re getting to crunch time in the semester, and students are realizing that it might not have been the best idea to skip the first 9 classes. But don’t worry, all hope is not lost! Here are Flipside’s 7 tips to lobbying your professor to give you that extra credit assignment.
Pay for his meals in iBucks
We all know professors are grossly underpaid, and especially this guy. I mean, how much can a history professors make? This is a great way for you to show him how much you care. After all, everyone deserves to be able to eat at Bueno!
Offer him a discount on adderall
Let’s be real here. All the good adderall on campus is being wasted on the people who need it the least. Sure, students have heavy workloads and other stressors related to college, but professors have to handle grading hundreds of papers, while also publishing research on the side. By offering him a discount on your adderall, you’re not only getting extra credit opportunities, but you’re also helping build your small business at the same time.
Buy him a new tweed jacket
It’s becoming more and more obvious that he’s hit a rough patch, as he’s worn the same tweed jacket for the past 7 classes. Could it be due to the general stresses of academia, or is it something personal like family problems? Who knows, but you can always show him how much you care by buying him a new tweed jacket, and maybe he will return the favor in the gradebook!
Offer to mediate a fight with his adolescent daughter
Clearly, his problems are extend beyond the classroom. It’s obvious that so much of his energy is being sucked up by that little brat, Katrina. Granted, life probably isn’t easy for her since her parents are fighting so much. Show him how much you care by offering to mediate, validating her needs for a new My Little Pony, and comforting him in his inability to buy one for her.
Give him your Netflix password
Well, it’s bad enough that Martha left him, and took the kids with her, but we can all agree that changing the family Netflix account password maybe was a step too far. What else is he supposed to do now to occupy his time? Offer him your Netflix password. You will instantly become his favorite student, and the new season of Ice Road Truckers isn’t going to watch itself!
Give him a chili pepper on Rate my Professor
Clearly, his confidence has been lacking lately, but even just a single comment on rate my professor can make all the difference. He would be so grateful, that he would HAVE to offer you extra credit. In addition, it give him the confidence to get back out there, and try meeting new people! After all, Martha wasted no time in finding somebody else, why should he?
Start a GoFundMe to help him make his child support payments
You can tell life has been rough for him ever since Martha started sleeping with his identical twin brother, and he now has another set of bills he has to pay. Not only do you want your extra credit, you want your professor back on his feet! You’re a millennial; use your internet skills to start a GoFundMe, and maybe, he won’t have to pick up a side job working for RPS!