By: Flipside Staff

Midterms are upon us, and for many of us, that will mean writing long essays. We here at the Flipside understand it can sometimes be challenging to find those final 1500 words to round out the paper, so here are Flipside’s tips for boosting your word count!

1. Write “In the year of our Lord” before every date
You can’t fail with Christ on your side!
2. Add biographical information
While it might not directly add to your thesis, discussing the relationship the author had with his mother could provide some interesting insights into his work
3. Copy and paste the Entire text of Moby Dick
Professors seem to love assigning it, so they must love reading it!
4. Challenge yourself; write in Iambic Pentameter!
Ten Syllables is all you need to write
Writing like this, it just might take all night
5. Provide the Swahili translation
College is all about inclusivity, why not encourage non-English speakers to enjoy your paper about irony in the Canterbury Tales?
6. Make your bibliography 3 pages long
Better safe than sorry when it comes to plagiarism.
7. Pepper in a couple of curse words
I mean it would be quite challenging to write about the Colombian Civil War and not call it a f***ing s***storm
8. Space out the letters
I t m a k e s e v e r y t h i n g r e a d l i k e a r a n s o m n o t e
9. Add a reader terms and agreements section
In the fine print, you can legally obligate your professor to give you an A!
10. Really go in depth about how this topic makes you feel
Your psych professor would be so proud!
11. Add your grocery list
Milk, Eggs, Ground Beef, Thesis, Tide Pods
12. Throw in relevant Bible verses
“Blessed are the procrastinators for they shall inherit an A”
13. Include stage directions
Your professor will get some exercise while grading!
14. Add a link to your SoundCloud
Your paper might not be fire, but your mixtape certainly is!
15. Actually go to the professor for help
Is 4 AM the night before it’s due too late to send an email?