Hydrated Area Man Proud When Pee is Clear
By: Constance T. Nopel
NOBLESVILLE, IN— Following an exhaustive workout at his local gym, Stan Heighway, hydrated man of thirty-three, reportedly felt a twinge of pride for his nearly transparent stream of urine. “Yeah, my pee is clear, I guess. That means I’m healthy, right?” Heighway attributes his remarkable achievement in excretory health to drinking a couple glasses of water here and there. “It’s not like water tastes that great, but—you know. I bring a water bottle when I work out. I mean, it makes sense.” After using the restroom several hours later, Heighway was reportedly pleased to discover that his shit was clear as well.