Donald Trump Demands Dora the Explorer Pay for Whimsical Obstacles
By: Pink Freud
The latest GOP debate was sparked with controversy when Republican populist, Donald Trump, demanded that beloved Nick Junior icon, Dora the Explorer, pay for the whimsical obstacles to be erected in her path.
“Considering how much ad money American corporations have poured into Dora,” fumed Trump, “surely she can afford to pay for her own damn obstacles.”
Trump (whose photo is featured) puts his foot down when it comes to entertaining six-year old Dora’s antics. In the place of enchanted castles, spooky forests, and giant blue hills (revealed to be chickens), he has argued for a “big beautiful wall to keep the bad people out.”
“Dora will carry on, legally, as she was intended to do,” explained Trump. “Kids can learn the words for ‘grey’ and ‘big,’ and they can count the guard towers or some shit. I know a thing or two about walls, *I’m great with China!”
When informed that Dora was, in fact, a fictional character, Trump proposed cutting all government funding of Nick Junior.
*he is not