Before the conference finals, let’s take a moment to reflect on last Sunday’s match-up between the Green Bay Packers and the Arizona Cardinals, which was arguably one of the craziest, most intense games of all time.  We here at the Hoosier Flipside are here to break down the madness. Here are five of the craziest things that happened during the game.

  •         Fat Albert’s recently disowned son stole an Eddie Lacy jersey, sprinted onto the field, and proceeded to outrun almost the entire Arizona Cardinals defense down the sidelines.
  •         Loki, the trickster God, imposed its will on an ill-conceived Carson Palmer pass, which was intended for Larry Fitzgerald. Doomed to fall to the turf after being deflected away by a Packer defensive back, the intrusive deity momentarily altered the laws of physics.  The sudden, temporary switch caused a random icy planet in the outer reaches of the nearby Andromeda galaxy to spontaneously combust, and also caused the pass to glide into the outstretched arms of Cardinal receiver Michael Floyd.  Touchdown Cardinals.
  •         While stuck on his own 5 yard line on a 4th and 25, quarterback Aaron Rodgers, who happens to be a total goddamn moron, launched the ball downfield. For whatever fucking reason, of all the receivers that were lined up, this dumbass decided to target the least experienced player on the field. And then? On the last play of the game? The fucker did it again, to the same person!!  No wonder the Packers lost…
  •         On the first play of overtime, Carson Palmer, a guy who earlier in the game got hit so hard his dentures fell out, spun away from a speedy 300 lb monstrosity, rolled out to the right, and threw across his body to Larry Fitzgerald. Fitzgerald got the ball, turned up field, and led a miraculous weaving and winding footrace all the way down to the 5 yard line.
  •         Two plays later, Fitzgerald scored the game winning touchdown, then jogged to the sideline, lifted his head towards the heavens, and turned Gatorade into wine.