Collins Holds Honorary Inauguration for Bernie Sanders
By: Joe King
BLOOMINGTON – Flipside has just received word that, in accordance with Donald Trump’s inauguration as president of the United States, the Collins Living-Learning Center will also be holding an honorary inauguration for democratic socialist and former presidential candidate, Senator Bernie Sanders. The Senator was invited to the ceremony, but, unfortunately, he will be be too busy effecting real change to attend. As a result, the residents of Collins have pooled all their money to purchase a ten-dollar cardboard cutout of Bernie Sanders.
“The honorary inauguration of Senator Sanders is being held as an opportunity for students who are upset with the election’s results to find other like-minded and woke af students, It’s meant to help those who are still in denial about the nation we live in and allow them to dive even deeper into the liberal echo chamber,” explained Libby Rawles, the event’s organizer. ” One of our biggest problems in organizing this event was finding a venue, as we had to locate a safe space big enough to accommodate all these people.”
“I don’t identify with the Trump presidency,” commented Sam J. Walker, a Collins resident and gender studies major. “The transition of the Obama administration to Trump’s is just another example of the cultural appropriation of African American culture.”
The tickets for the event can be bought at the entrance, and all proceeds will go towards purchasing a bigger Bernie Sanders cutout for 2018’s anniversary of his honorary inauguration.