By Sutton Lee Seymour

BLOOMINGTON, IN – Earlier this week, IU’s Office of Sexual Harassment received a complaint about freshman Cam Ragg trying to slide into his female classmate’s Canvas DMs.

“This guy’s endgame was pretty clear,” said DM recipient Sarah Letterman. “At first he was just messaging me asking how soon I was completing the reading assignments, but then he started making comments about our ‘chemistry’ despite the fact that we’re in a sociology class together. But what made me really uncomfortable was when he said ‘if I were there what would you be doing instead of homework? ;-)’ You know, standard thirsty douchebag on Canvas stuff.”

Letterman explained that previously she had blocked Ragg on all other forms of social media, including Tinder, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, Google Plus, Youtube, Skype, FaceTime, and GroupMe before he moved onto Canvas’ direct-messaging system. Most of Ragg’s attempts to court Letterman included pickup lines such as, “Damn girl, are you my calc grade? Cuz I’d say you’re a 10 with a curve,” and, “They should call you the Ballantine staircase, cuz you take my breath away.”

On hearing these allegations, Ragg and Letterman’s classmates had this to say: “Cam’s not just a pervert; he’s an idiot. We don’t think he knows he hit ‘Reply All’ on every message he sent, but the messages are pretty funny. The entire class has a group chat now where we draw goofy faces on the dick pics he attached.”

Despite the mockery, Ragg is unashamed of his messages, stating, “She should just be flattered that I’m interested in her. If she didn’t want to see pictures of my dick, she shouldn’t be on Canvas.” At press time, he was found typing out a message to his IA about “one-on-one study opportunities.”