Halloweekend On Its Way! 7 Ways to Flaunt It Without Getting Frostbite
By: Sutton Lee Seymour, Flipside Staff
1) Fishnet leg warmers
Why not take these two sexy eighties trends and combine them into one? You’ll look like a sexy badass and enjoy the warm insulation of thin, crisscrossed fabric running up your legs. What could go wrong?
2) Fur-lined nipple tassels
You were already planning on going topless, anyway. Why not add some pizzazz and flair with these tiny titty insulators? It’ll keep the wind off your teats and show the world that you’re not just a future stripper–you’re a future stripper who’s PRACTICAL.
3) Duster over a leather thong
Business on the top, party on the bottom. This is a pussy-poppin’ kind of chilly Halloweekend look if that’s your style. Just don’t tell Grandma why you need to borrow her floor-length cardigan and you’ll be good to go.
4) Don’t shave the bush
Why go to the extra trouble of bundling up when your body has natural defenses for keeping your cooch warm? Letting the hedges grow free is an easy DIY hack that’ll keep you nice and toasty and really sell that Adam and Eve costume your boyfriend’s been begging you to do for months.
5) Wear yo man
Everyone knows that boys are the perfect party accessory. You can keep your phone in his pockets, whine for him to trade your shoes when your stilettos are hurting your feet, and now they even double as outerwear! Whenever you get cold, just latch onto his back like a leech and steal all his body heat until he’s nothing but a shivering, blue-lipped corpse.
6) Just do shots until you can no longer feel the pain
Alcohol is supposed to warm you up, right? Then how come you’re seven shots in and still freezing your ass off?! Better do two more to be safe; at least if you don’t warm up soon, there’s no way you’ll remember your death by frostbite.
7) Dress, however, you feel comfortable, because you’re beautiful just the way you are!
“You shouldn’t feel pressure to wear provocative Halloween costumes or worry about being cold and miserable all night. Wear whatever you want and feel fabulous doing it, because you are perfect the way you are! Let us know if you’re coming home for Thanksgiving and remember that I love you bunches! Hugs and kisses” -Mom