10 Last-Minute CASE Classes You Can Still Sign Up For
By: Robbie McMichael, Sutton Lee Seymour, Flipside Staff
Well, it’s that time of year again: time for you to wake up in a cold sweat and realize you haven’t actually signed up for any classes next semester yet, you degenerate. Your adviser’s schedule is already full and all of the good easy A classes are taken, so what’s your plan now, chief? Well, worry no more, because Hoosier Flipside has taken the liberty of combing through every class listing IU offers to find the best-kept secret CASE classes that you can still tack onto your schedule so you don’t lose that full-time student scholarship! No need to thank us! 😉
1. Beginners Fiddle: Try your hand at the hillbilly’s violin! Jacobs wouldn’t take it on, so like all misfits, it ended up in CASE.
2. Wink Interpretation: This class has so many practical real-world applications! For instance, now you finally know what that one creepy Walmart greeter went…dunno, maybe ignorance was actually bliss in this case.
3. A class where you just smoke weed: No textbooks required for this one, but it’s worth mentioning that if you don’t bring a hammock you’ll feel left out.
4. Deer Trust 115: Tired of all the white-tailed deer in Bloomington avoiding your gaze? Worry no more! This class taught by famed deer whisper Prof. Melvin Hotcakes will teach you the secrets of getting deer to trust you.
5. Letter Opening: This class teaches you how to open mail without fucking annihilating it. Bring your own cute little knife! Meets with Fencing.
6. Gravedigging: Tired of people teasing you that your major will never get you a job? Try your hand at digging ditches; people will be DYING to get a peek at your resume.
7. Operating Under Capitalism: While most classes in CASE will tell you about the evils of capitalism, this class goes the extra mile by showing you how to stop living in a fantasy world where humanity is respected and cared for.
8. Unlearning How to Read the Nutrition Label: Did you know Oreos are vegan? Yup, that totally makes them healthy! No further investigation required!
9. Opening Champagne with a Sword: Impress your friends with this neat trick! You’re responsible for your own champagne and if you don’t bring the good kind, people WILL laugh at you. Meets with Fencing.
10. Opening up Emotionally to Others: Just make sure you take the prerequisite, Opening Champagne with a Sword.