By Dr. Warvernortzer

NEW YORK, NEW YORK – Damn, these TV doctors just can’t seem to quit, huh? Famed television doctor Doc McStuffins appeared on Fox News’ “Hannity” two nights ago and controversially called for an end to statewide lockdowns across the country, claiming to have found a cure for COVID-19.

“I searched high and low through The Big Book of Boo Boos and found a cure right at the end,” Mcstuffins said as she flipped through the book upon being prompted by Hannity.

McStuffins was widely panned in the media for these statements, with many criticizing Fox News for bringing a child doctor that also happens to be from a cartoon onto a program to drum up political support for the end of protective measures.

“Doc McStuffins….isn’t that a children’s television program?” Dr. Fauci said upon being asked about McStuffins’ comments during a White House Coronavirus Task Force press briefing. “Oh, wait. It is, I’ve bought the toys for my grandchildren before.”

McStuffins was called to appear on “Hannity”, after fellow TV doctors and famed non-virologists Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz appeared on the network earlier this week.

“Honestly, as long as there’s a “Dr.” before their name? Good enough.” an unnamed Fox producer said.

The network’s efforts to secure appearances from Dr. Doom and Dr. Gregory House proved unsuccessful earlier this week.

Hannity responded with a segment the following night supporting the credibility of McStuffins, detailing her various impressive accomplishments throughout her time in the medical field, which include separating two action figures stuck together with glue and helping to dry Stuffy the stuffed dragon.

“I just don’t understand all this Democrat hubub about the professionals appearing on Sean’s show,” White House advisor Kellyanne Conway “They’re just presenting alternative doctors.”

A shortlist of possible replacements for Dr. Fauci was leaked not too long after, including McStuffins herself, the entire cast of “Scrubs” and Dr. Wily, creator of the robot masters.