Recently single man holding up line.

Written by: Jared Reed

It’s been 13 days since she broke up with me. That’s 15 days since I heard, “I love you.”  21 days without falling asleep with her in my arms. And worst of all, 28 days of not knowing what the drink I like at Starbucks is called, because my ex is the only one who remembers what I get at Starbucks.

Every time I ordered I always had to turn to her, stammering, “What’s the one I like? It’s the pink thing with the ice and it has the stuff I like on top and—” Eventually she’d cut me off realizing it’d just be easier for her to tell the barista herself.

It’s not my fault. Drink names, favorite foods, birthdays — they’ve always been hard for me to remember. 

The worst part is I’ll never know why. She never even explained it to me. Why is it better to order on the app? What even are star points?

We used to do everything together. Without her I just feel so lost. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I can’t accurately order the right drink size.

The word grande is so misleading!

I can’t do this on my own. I’ve tried, but I always end up frozen and holding up the line in the Starbucks drive-thru. Cars started honking. Seconds away from breaking down, I hastily placed my order, grabbed the cup and drove off in tears. Not my best moment.

I cried the whole way home feeling sick to my stomach. Mostly from the tall oat milk with sweet and low I ordered out of panic, but also from the realization that we were over for good. Plus it was also really warm.

Everyone says it’s been long enough and that I’m ready to go out and try again. I just have to accept it. 

I may not get it right on the first try but getting hurt is just part of the process. It’ll take some time but how many different drinks can they possibly have?

My friends dragged me out of bed for a night out to try to make me feel better. And you know what? It worked.  They made me realize my obsession with being reunited with my favorite drink at some coffee shop isn’t what I should be focusing on. 

What’s truly important is that I remember my favorite drink at the bars, then get so drunk that I forget that one too.