OBITUARY: Peepee the Cat Did More for Humanity Than You Ever Will, Dear Reader
By K.C. Jones and Sutton Lee Seymour
This week, we lost a legend–a bastion of hope in the world; the loudest, most beloved voice of history and of humanity. No, I’m not talking about the Notre Dame cathedral. This is something much more important. On April 15th, 2019, humanity lost an icon whose influence has already spread far and wide: Peepee the Cat, who was a greater influence, activist, and comedian than you or I, dear reader, could ever be.
The bar in these times, sweet reader, is surprisingly low for me. A public figure avoiding blatant racism/sexism/homophobia is all it really takes for me to think that they might be worth looking up to. In a time when it takes so little to set an example, one little creacher taught us all a lesson about caring and acceptance (though not about spelling).
He was a simple boy, who loved his friends and loved his playhouse. “Peepee was loved by everyone who met him, even people who didn’t even like cats that much,” said Peepee’s owner, “because he was just as goofy and stupid and sweet and sociable as I think he appeared to be online.” He was a supportive, vocal advocate for LGBTQ rights, and also a loving admirer of fan art. “I wish I could reply to [everyone’s messages and art],” said his owner, “but just know I probably saw it and cried over it, haha.”
On the postmodern hellscape that Twitter has now become, where mediocre, horny neanderthals like you and I go to spread the verbal equivalent of monkey feces all over our cerulean-colored prison walls, Peepee the Cat was a beacon of positivity, a light that could almost make you forget the uncensored horde of neo-Nazis lurking around every corner.
Sure, Peepee wasn’t an epic gamer icon, or a meme master, or a flame lord… but he was a good boy, and what more could you want? He saw the shit-stinking ashes that we bastards had turned the world into, and he still managed to wrench some beacon of happiness out of it for the rest of us to enjoy. As one Twitter user summed up nicely: “It’s Peepee’s playhouse, we’re all just living in it.”
If Peepee were alive today, he would surely say, “good Moarning , i askt my dade two take some “ Wise Pics” of me . i think thease Look prety wise.” You were incredibly wise, dear Peepee, and our world will never again be able to fill the hole that your death has left us. Goodnight, sweet prince.