Carmel to Become One Giant, Sentient Network of Roundabouts
By: Jonathan Pollock CARMEL, IN - At a news conference earlier today, Carmel mayor James Brainard announced his plan to make his city into one gigantic self aware network of roundabouts…
Abandoned Frat House on North Jordan Found to be Haunted
By: Bismo Falcor BLOOMINGTON, IN-Following the immediate disbandment of Herman B. Wells' former fraternity, Sigma Nu, students passing by the old house have reported experiencing paranormal activity. “I was…
The Best Places on Campus to Take Cover During an Earthquake
By: Sutton Lee Seymour and Bismo Falcor This past week’s earthquake drills reminded us that at any moment, tectonic plates can just say “fuck it,” and start moving around to…
An Homage to Finite Midterms: 6 Brave Souls Who Died for Your Curve
By: Al Dente Sacrifice comes in all shapes and sizes. From a firefighter risking his life for another, to a student in the dining hall who pulls recyclables out of the…
Open Letter to the IDS
Dear Indiana Daily Student, Recently you published a column titled “Kinsey Confidential answers a question about eating ejaculate” where the subject matter of eating one’s own semen is discussed. Seeing…
Bus Rider Too Nervous to Pull Bell Takes Three Extra Laps Around Campus
By: Moccasin Jerry and Robben DeCash BLOOMINGTON, IN - Last Thursday, freshman Quincy Mathews was on his way to Hodge Hall from 10th and Woodlawn when he found himself unable…
15 Ways to Drop Off the Grid After Your Mom Finds Out You Failed Your Midterm
So you didn't go to class for a 2 weeks and it turns out that was pretty important for passing your midterms. Or maybe you went to class the whole…
Op-Ed: I Think I’m Falling for Mother Bear
By: Robbie McMichael BLOOMINGTON, IN – There I was, enjoying a typical evening at Mother Bear’s, when as I was reading the scrawny handwriting on the back of the booths, my…
IU Football Looks to Keep Homecoming Losing Streak Alive
By: Bismo Falcor and Justin TruBRO BLOOMINGTON, IN - Following 6 consecutive losses on homecoming weekend, the Indiana University football team looks to add onto that impressive streak of disappointment…
Local Aspiring Hentai Artist Disappointed with Lack of Recognition in Graphic Design Class
By: Sutton Lee Seymour BLOOMINGTON, IN – Following a recent art project in Indiana University’s Graphic Design 101 class, student and aspiring hentai artist Chester T. Rutherford was reportedly dismayed…