Bloomington Buses to Crack Down on Fake Student IDs
By: Joe King BLOOMINGTON, IN -- This past Thursday, Bloomington Transit released an official statement asserting that the service will be increasing its security measures to prevent the use of…
Kentucky Land Values Skyrocket in Anticipation of Becoming Ocean-front by 2020
By: Hermynn Bae Wells In anticipation of global climate change ravaging our dear Mother Earth, realtors and future homeowners have jumped at the astounding opportunity for real estate. While other…
Chaos Ensues After Student Declares the Floor is Lava During Career Fair
By: Jacopo Inboden BLOOMINGTON, IN— Mayhem recently broke out at a Kelley School of Business Career Fair after an unidentified passerby declared that the floor was lava, making this the fifth…
Speck of Sunlight Breaches Horizon As Another Day Somehow Begins
By: Bismo Falcor BLOOMINGTON, IN - In the past few hours, scientists on America’s East Coast have been baffled by mysterious sightings of lights in the sky that closely resemble…
Collins Holds Honorary Inauguration for Bernie Sanders
By: Joe King BLOOMINGTON - Flipside has just received word that, in accordance with Donald Trump’s inauguration as president of the United States, the Collins Living-Learning Center will also be…
Indiana University Announces Plans for Building Without Gaping Design Flaw
By: Jacopo Inboden BLOOMINGTON, IN - Indiana University has just announced plans for a new general studies building which will have absolutely zero rookie structural mistakes. "We are very excited,” University…
OP-Ed: I’m Pissed So Many People are Put in Jail Because It’s Ruining My Dating Prospects
By: Hermynn Bae Wells As I sit on Tinder for the fifteenth time today, contemplating the possibility of sleep, my fingers tremble with each swipe. The “New Match!” orange graphic…
Former Fraternity Brother Comes Out as Hipster
By: Fannie Wanker Flipside has received reports that former Theta Chi Social Chair, Dave Buchanan, has informed the world of his true hipster personality following his tweet about Bon Iver's…
Overworked Freshmen Inquire about Housing in Wells
By: Robben DeCash and Skell Eaton Following their first experience with the stressful nature of college finals, numerous freshmen have begun inquiring about taking up residency in the glass study…
OP-ED: Dabbing is Dangerous and Killing Youth
By: Barry Vile The day that I watched my 10-year-old brother get hit by a car while dabbing in a crosswalk is the day I realized that our country's youth…