Students Overthrow Professor in Classroom Struggle
By: Mack E. Velli Bloomington, IN - The student masses in Professor Williams' "Theory of Marx and Revolutionary History" seized the means of education today after a long struggle with the…
13 Cute Fall Date Ideas in Bloomington
It's that time of year again. Falling leaves, chilly evenings, and a Tinder hookup who you need an excuse to hangout with for an hour before you go bang the…
Divorce Rate Skyrockets Following Successful Dad’s Weekend
By: Fannie Wanker Carmel, IN -- Indianapolis divorce lawyers have seen a huge upswing in divorce filings following what can only be described as a successful Dad’s weekend. While some…
Carmel to Become One Giant, Sentient Network of Roundabouts
By: Jonathan Pollock CARMEL, IN - At a news conference earlier today, Carmel mayor James Brainard announced his plan to make his city into one gigantic self aware network of roundabouts…
Abandoned Frat House on North Jordan Found to be Haunted
By: Bismo Falcor BLOOMINGTON, IN-Following the immediate disbandment of Herman B. Wells' former fraternity, Sigma Nu, students passing by the old house have reported experiencing paranormal activity. “I was…
The Best Places on Campus to Take Cover During an Earthquake
By: Sutton Lee Seymour and Bismo Falcor This past week’s earthquake drills reminded us that at any moment, tectonic plates can just say “fuck it,” and start moving around to…
An Homage to Finite Midterms: 6 Brave Souls Who Died for Your Curve
By: Al Dente Sacrifice comes in all shapes and sizes. From a firefighter risking his life for another, to a student in the dining hall who pulls recyclables out of the…
Open Letter to the IDS
Dear Indiana Daily Student, Recently you published a column titled “Kinsey Confidential answers a question about eating ejaculate” where the subject matter of eating one’s own semen is discussed. Seeing…
Bus Rider Too Nervous to Pull Bell Takes Three Extra Laps Around Campus
By: Moccasin Jerry and Robben DeCash BLOOMINGTON, IN - Last Thursday, freshman Quincy Mathews was on his way to Hodge Hall from 10th and Woodlawn when he found himself unable…
15 Ways to Drop Off the Grid After Your Mom Finds Out You Failed Your Midterm
So you didn't go to class for a 2 weeks and it turns out that was pretty important for passing your midterms. Or maybe you went to class the whole…